This Is What Happens When You Leave The Inmate Roaming Freely About The Asylum

Perhaps you recall that I have been troubled by a cloggy sink for about the past three months. It has been mentioned numerous times to Farmer H. Who has reacted with the same sense of urgency he displays when I tell him T-Hoe is making a noise, or has low tires, or a dead headlight. I took matters into my own hands on Friday, and bought some Drano.

I have been planning my schedule around preparing Thanksgiving Dinner. On Tuesday afternoon, I was going to use that Drano to unclog my sink. The bottle has been sitting on the cutting block for five days. I figured that after I got back from town, and before Farmer H got home Tuesday evening, I would use that Drano. It has to sit for 30 minutes, and then be flushed down the drain with hot water. Well. That's a problem in my sink, since it has to run about 5 minutes until the water is hot. So I thought I'd get out my big chili/soup/ham and beans/egg-boiling pot, fill it with water, get it to boiling while the Drano was sitting, and then pour it down the sink. Easy peasy.

Of course Farmer H had to alter his schedule on Tuesday. Came home at 1:00! I hadn't even showered for town yet. As I was leaving the Mansion at 2:00, hurrying to get to the bank before it closed, Farmer H said,

"I figured while you was gone, I'd unclog your sink."

"NOW? Of all the times you could have done it? Are you using the Drano?"

"No."

"How are you unclogging it?"

"I'll get it done."

"DO NOT USE THE TOILET PLUNGER!"

"I'll get it done."

"Stop saying that! I'm going to be cooking and washing dishes and really busy. I don't want to have to clean the sink before I can do that."

"I'll get it done."

"I DO NOT want a poopy plunger in my kitchen sink! And what about my clean dishes in drainer in the other sink? What are you going to do with them?"

"I'll take care of them, HM."

Of course the whole time I was in town, I was worried about what Farmer H was doing. That's just like him, to ignore the problem for three months, then decide to fix it when it's the least convenient time for me.

When I got home, the sink LOOKED like he'd done something to it. My clean dishes were still sitting in the drainer. There was one large blue plastic cup sitting on the side where I put the dirty dishes. When Farmer H came back in the Mansion from burning cardboard boxes by the BARn, he turned on the water in the sink as I sat at the kitchen table.

"There."

"I don't know what you're doing. The water has always worked. I can't see down into the sink."

Farmer H let it run. Stuck his hand in the stream. "There. It's hot now. And the water didn't back up."

"If you say so. I can't see it. Did you use the plunger?"

"Nope."

"Well, did you use the Drano?"

"Nope."

"What did you use?"

"Vinegar."

"Sure. You just poured vinegar down the drain, and it cleared?"

"I plunged it with this cup here."

"How in the world did you do that?"

"I ran some water in the sink, and then used the cup to push it down."

"Where did you get the vinegar?"

"Under the sink."

"That's MY vinegar! That I used to clean the hard water stains out of my water bottle and Bubba cups. and on the pans when they get discolored."

"Not the little bit in the front. A whole gallon in the back."

"That's what I use to fill the little jug. So I can lift it. You and Pony always had your own gallons of vinegar, for running through the jets of the big triangle tub in the master bathroom. But you had to use mine. Now I'll have to get more."

"I'LL GET MORE VINEGAR!"

Sure. In about three months...

Funny how the Mansion did not smell a bit like vinegar. That's usually very obvious. I hope I've not been bamboozled.