Clean Is In They Eye Of The Paper Towel Holder

Here's my latest issue with Farmer H. I might as well give myself a little less typing and just start calling these things "H-ssues".

Yesterday, I tried to wipe some soap off the bottle of soap. Funny how soap can be dirty and need to be washed off sometimes. Not funny how I turned to grab a paper towel off the upright spinny rack thingy on my cutting block, and all I found was the cardboard tube with the final piece glued to it. I suppose Farmer H thought since he didn't take the last one, he didn't have to replace the roll.

Finding no drying action in that quilted cardboard tube, I made a beeline for the pantry. Where I had to open the door with my wet hands, entice the double-roll new pack of paper towels off the top shelf with my wet hands, rip open the plastic wrapper with wet hands, unscrew the heavy metal apple on the rack with wet hands, remove the quilted cardboard tube with wet hands, drop the new roll on the metal rod with wet hands, screw the metal apple back on with wet hands, and pry loose the first paper towel so I could dry my...now dry hands.

This afternoon, after washing a sink full of dishes by hand, I turned to grab a paper towel. On top of that brand new roll was the black imprint of two dirty fingers. I swear, they were so dark I could almost have found fingerprints there to convict the culprit.

What kind of person washes his hands so poorly that he leaves dirty fingerprints on the paper town roll as he is trying to tear one off to dry his just-washed hands?

I think we know his name.