Somebody Needs To (Part 2)

This morning, the #1 son invaded my living room territory as I was half-way watching The View. He laid back on the couch and spouted his opinion of guest Dana Delany as she talked about some show where she's a coroner. On of the mouthy hosts asked about how she prepared for a role where she works with dead bodies. Apparently, she did that by working on actual dead bodies. Which is just a waste of dead bodies if you ask me, which nobody did, because you know that on the show, she works on prop dead bodies. So why she felt the need to desecrate the dead I'll never know. But it's not like her 'patients' were complaining.

Then Ms. Delany brought up something about her 84-year-old mother still working. I was not paying close attention, but I assumed she was talking about her real-life mother. And I said, "Shame on her, making all that star money and not letting her mother retire. And drink box wine like Kathy Griffin's mom, Maggie."

I looked at the #1 son. "You'd be like that. 'Oh, Mom. You really need to keep working. It doesn't matter that I am the new Bill Gates. That's MY money. Now somebody needs to pump up her wheelchair tires and get crackin'.' I know you. That's exactly how it would be." He laughed like I was joking.

Soon after, we left so I could take him to get shot. The bacterial meningitis vaccine that all kids must have to live in a college dorm. No need to put it off. It's a one-time thing. He could have driven himself, but what with that unfortunate flu vaccine faux pas in which he left the doctor's office dragging one leg and declaring that he had lost all feeling in it, he wanted me to take him.

"I can see it now," I told him. "I'll be rolling you out of the health center in a wheelchair, while you shout, 'Somebody needs to push a little faster!' "