Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I have a secret. Not a very well-kept secret, but a secret nonetheless.

My nose is with pimple. Up inside the left nostril, growing larger by the day, my little bubble of joy is percolatin' to beat the band. I put some clear gel stuff on it. That took away the pain for about two hours. I put a white, creamy paste from a tube proclaiming that it includes nonoxynol-9 up in there. That works for four hours. I don't know about nonoxynol-1-thru-8, but the 9er usually does the trick.

There must be a magic strike among nostrils, because nothing is getting rid of my painful nuisance. It precedes me into the classroom by a good three inches. The end of my nose is bulbous and red. I'm the W.C. Rudolph Fields of the nose-pimple set. My left nostril is constricted like a coronary artery in need of a bypass. If I was a pig, I could not model for piggy banks until the swelling goes down. Unless you want a piggy bank with one large snout hole and one tiny snout hole.

I'm sure the general public wants no such thing.


Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

Spermicide in the nostril? If it's with pimple, it's a little late for the spermicide, is it not?

BTW, this totally grossed me out. And I just had a baby so that's kinda hard to do right now, as I've recently seen some of the grossest stuff the human body has to offer. Congrats!

Hillbilly Mom said...

The horse has already left the barn. No reining it in. The pain had eased a bit by morning, but the redness remained. My students are too new to dare mention my facial deformity.

At least I'm not asking you to come over with a nose-sucker and suction the pus out of my inflamed nasal passage.

I never could use the nose-sucker on my infants. Nose-Sucker H had to do it for me.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

The tune of "Pop Goes The Weasel" is running through my mind.

Hillbilly Mom said...

If only it could stop the visual that your comment has running through my mind.

labbie1 said...

Needle to relieve the pressure and then the nonoxynol-9 to dry? Poor thing!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Great Googley Moogley! That makes my eyes water just to think of jamming a needle in my nasal haystack.