Sunday, August 28, 2011

Roadkill Etiquette Of My Youth

On the way to town this morning, I saw a dead armadillo in the road. They don't flatten out like possums. During my youth, you would have been laughed out of town if you told the kids on the bus that you saw a dead armadillo.

"Yeah, right. Where do you think we are, Arizona?"

"Ha ha. You must be blind."

"Armadillos don't come up here, stupid!"

"You wouldn't know an armadillo if it bit you on the a$$!"

"What are you gonna do, write a song about it? 'Dead armidillo in the middle of the road; dead armadillo in the middle of the road; dead armadillo in the middle of the road, stinkin' to high heaven!' "

Ahh. Simpler times. Colder times, perhaps.


Chickadee said...

I believe you. I know they're heading up this way. I haven't seen up in my neck of the woods yet.

While I was in Illinois, I heard a Eurasian Collared Dove. These birds look like Mourning Doves on steroids. They were originally out west, but they have been moving eastward.

If I tell my non-bird nerd friends I heard a Eurasian Collared Dove in Illinois, the significance will be lost on them and they roll their eyes at me.

Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

In Mississippi it's illegal to drive past a dead armadillo in the road and not stop and put a beer can in its little armadillo claws.

labbie1 said...

Somehow when I read the title of your post I got the picture of Granny and Uncle Jed going down the road with the roadkill bucket attached to the truck. MMmmmmm...what's for supper?


The migration is interesting though. I grew up in this area and nary an armadillo to be seen north of Texas (possibly southern Oklahoma).

Hillbilly Mom said...

I might kind of halfway roll my eyes. But you could make up a bird name and I would believe it was totally true. Unless, of course, it was the Eurasian Collared Snipe. I know there is a real snipe, and I think it's swamp-natured, but I can't take any kind of snipe seriously. Seriously.

Well, I'm surprised your citizens can take time out from their busy schedules of power-eating (to hang onto the Fattest State title), or underage fornicating (to hang onto the Most Teen Pregnancies title). We, on the other hand, have our hands full cranking out crystal meth and keeping teachers from Facebooking students.

You act like that image is only mental. Let me drive long enough, and I will actually see it. Probably stopped right in the middle of my lane.