Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sixth Sixth Sixth. The Mark Of The Devil's Playground.

At the Devil's Playground, you're always 6th in line. Wasn't that their slogan a few years back. Oh, no. You're right. The slogan was, "You're always NEXT in line." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Now I've nearly given myself a hernia laughing.

I stopped by The Playground after school, to pick up some cough medicine for The Pony. Poor little critter. He picked up a bug over the weekend. I'm thinking he got it at bowling league on Saturday afternoon, because the headache and sore throat started Sunday night. But he could easily have contracted it from the #1 son, what with the sharing of remotes and refrigerator door handles and bathroom faucets.

The Pony asked to wait in T-Hoe, so I let him. I don't think it's against the law anymore, now that he's thirteen. And I put all the windows down. After all, I was just running in for a minute, for ONE item. The cough medicine. Which of course The Devil seems to have discontinued, as with all products one prefers. So I grabbed a poor substitute that was only grape flavored, not red grape flavored, and got in line. Behind five other customers.

Yeah. I though surely there would be more than five lanes open in a SuperPlayground at 4:30 on a weekday afternoon. Or at least a 20 items or less line at each end. Nope. And, there were two ladies behind me. Seventh and eighth in line.

I was not a happy player at The Playground. First of all, my beloved Pony was in a hot T-Hoe, sniffling and snorting. Secondly, the customers in front of me were paying by check. Why couldn't they just whip out some plastic. Debit, credit, EBT...I wouldn't be picky.

And then, the icing on this poop cake: the woman right in front of me took out a handful of coins. COINS! Nobody uses COINS anymore. Ms. Meter Maid laid down a ten, four ones, and a handful of quarters. "There's $18," she said. Her bill was $29.38. The Devil's Handmaiden counted it. She counted it again.

"Ma'am? This is $17." She counted it yet again for Ms. Meter Maid, and stacked up the quarters in dollar piles. Then she had to calculate the difference so Ms. Meter Maid could write a check!

When I forked over a ten for my $6.57 box of cough medicine, the lady behind me said, "Oh, she's paying for mine, too." I told her I would be glad to. If it got me out the door any sooner.


Chickadee said...

WOW. Not to be an age discriminator or stereotyper, was it an old lady? It seems like every time I get stuck behind a little old lady in line she's counting a crap load of change.

And while you were at the Wallyworld, did you go ahead and buy that bottle of shampoo for Pony (even though you already bought him that yummy smelling coconut shampoo at the grocery store?)

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Do not go to the WalMart I frequent and get in line behind me. I use ones. Yes, single dollar bills. I get so many in my register and I pull them out in lots of 25 and paper clip them. They add up rather quickly and I will grab about 8 stacks from the safe and go to WalMart. I take perverse plaesure in the look of horror on the cashier's face when I present them. I know they have to be recounted and most will simply count each paper-clipped stack. But on one occasion the cashier took all the paper clips off and started making little stacks of 10. I gave her 400. The people in line behind me were growing restless and she was running out of places to put her stacks of 10. I tried to tell her to stack them, one long side and then one short side, but that confused her even more. I offered to help, but she vetoed that idea. Finally she had 40 stacks spread all over the small register area and the top of the bagging turntable. Did she simply count the 40 stacks? No, she started 10, 20, 30, ..... lost count twice and had to start over, then forgot to count three stacks atop the register and told me I was short (I am only 5'3", but that is another story). Finally a CSM came over and took all the stacks and counted them out in lots of 25 and paper clipped them and finished my transaction. The cashier was still confused when I left. I like to make them work for the money.

labbie1 said...

Yeah! I wanna know about the shampoo question too.

And watch the comments about old ladies and change--I have to count change every now and again young ladies! LOL

Hillbilly Mom said...

No she was not an old lady. I say that, because she was younger than me. Funny you should mention that bottle of shampoo, because I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Maybe that's why I have to visit The Devil seven days a week.

Thank you OH SO MUCH for that warning. The only worse thing would be getting behind Farmer H trying to barter a goat for his goods.

I do not envy The Devil's Handmaidens their job. But for cryin' out loud, Devil, train them how to count and bag like items together!

Now you know that my memory ain't what it used to be. As far as the change counting, it's fine if you are making correct change. Otherwise, take that cracked red Solo cup full of coins and dump it in the hopper and get paper money. Seriously. You're going to be one of those people who pay cash for a brand new truck...in pennies.