Friday, March 8, 2013

Lord Of The Prance

The Pony should be the new spokesman for Depends.

After putting my cart in The Devil's corral this afternoon, he returned to T-Hoe using a most unusual gait. I can't describe it really. Have you ever watched a high-jumper warm up? How they take those springy steps, raising their knees, like lords a-leaping without the pointy-toed leg extension? Pumping their bent-90-degrees-at-the-elbow arms in opposition to the legs? That was The Pony. Except he kind of straightened out his elbows in a shoulder-height version of the Heil maneuver.

I didn't mention it when he got in the car. He probably didn't even know I'd seen him in the side mirror. But he performed an encore when we stopped at our mailbox row. Seriously. He was right there in front of the windshield. It could not be ignored, even though my bladder protested steeling itself against both the guffaws and the coughing fit that occurred simultaneously.

The Pony clambered back into T-Hoe. "What?"

"Please, please, PLEASE promise me that you will never do that in public! Again."

"What, that walk? It's fun. Kind of like flying. It's best when you're pushing a cart, because then you roll even farther!"

Depends. Buy stock now.


Sioux said...

There are some things you could do--deliberately--to embarrass The Pony in public, if he does his "Lord of the Prance" routine again.

Just think on it a minute...

Hillbilly Mom said...

I can think of few things more embarrassing than those I've already done. Like back on September 29, 2011, when I was overheard chastising The Pony in Little Caesar's for neglecting to grab a pizza box:

"Do you know how hard it was for me to pick that up and carry it while I was busy holding your balls?"

Let the record show that The Pony had won some superballs playing a pinball kind of game while we waited. And that he has now grown adept at ducking his head and mumbling, "Let's get out of here."