Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Pardon Me While I Regress

Hey! I know some of you are as old as me. Let's stop pretending. Does anybody remember when...

...Little Debbie Fudge Rounds actually had fudge filling between the dry cakey rounds?

...Little Debbie Cherry Cordials were bigger than a silver dollar?

...we had coins called silver dollars?

...it was acceptable to enjoy a Little Debbie every now and then?

...the only seatbelt a toddler had was his mother's right arm thrown out instantaneously to keep him in his standing position on the front seat?

...sixth grade boys wore athletic supporters for gym class? (I only know because the guys liked to whip one out of their half-moon-shaped gym bags and pull it over the head of an unsuspecting girl playing checkers during indoor recess on rainy days).

...getting an athletic supporter pulled over your head was not grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit?

...a teacher could snatch a kid out of her desk by the hair, and nobody made a peep?

...the kid snatched by the hair didn't make a stink, because she KNEW she had done wrong?

...TV changers were also called "kids"?

...allowance was fifty cents every two weeks

...fifty cents bought you a bag full of candy from the Mom and Pop store that would last for two weeks?

...the Dairy Queen Arctic Rush was called a Mr. Misty

...your dad would buy a big paper sack full of fireworks, and light a punk from the end of his cigarette, and turn you loose to set off Black Cats and snakes and smoke bombs and bottle rockets all day?

...your mom popped a greasy paper sack full of popcorn to take to the drive-in, along with sixteen ounce bottles of Pepsi in a metal cooler with a built-in bottle opener, and you and your sister put on your pajamas to wear to the movie?

...every Easter, your grandma made you a new dress?

...a wooden box that formerly held a telephone booth was the best summer plaything ever?

...pillowcases were sleeping bags, and umbrellas were parachutes?

...thongs were shoes?

C'mon. You remember. Who do you think you're foolin'?

4 comments:

Sioux said...

And paddling was popular. Don't forget paddling.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Never had an athletic supporter on my head, but being called to the principals office would strike fear in the heart of any student. We were taught to respect our teachers and woe be unto the ones who chose not to. Drive in movies were the best! Triple features!! I never made it to the second feature, always fell asleep.

Yes, I am old!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Gosh. I really need to invest in some trifocals. At first I thought you said that PADDING was popular. Seriously? Then I saw that you said PADDLING, but my mind was still stuck on stuffing. Nowadays, the girls just get boob jobs.

You can still get paddled at Newmentia, Basementia, and Elementia IF YOUR PARENTS REQUEST IT.

******
Kathy,
Hope you had on your pajamas!

Sioux said...

The problem, I imagine, is the ones who need paddling have parents who refuse to request it.

Jeeze. The grass is indeed greener (or more red and sore) than the other side...