Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Conspirators Conspire Anew

Sometime between 3:30 or 4:00 when I leave my classroom, and 7:30 the next morning when I arrive, freaky-deaky events occur.

My spare rolly chair, the one with the back that won't hold its position if you push down on it, moves from the area adjacent to the front edge of my desk to the opposite end of the table against the wall. AND the back is jammed down to the seat every morning. There is no logical explanation. The floor of my room does not slant downhill away from my desk. That chair has no arms with which to push or pull itself along the table, nor does it have legs with which to walk. Nope. Just a stalk with a starfishy shape at the bottom to attach its wheels. If I didn't know better, I would assume that somebody was sitting on that chair, and wheeling it to a place for better cell phone reception.

Then this morning, a new tactic to drive me crazy was in evidence. TWO TOILET PAPER END ROLLS SAT ON THE DESK AGAINST THE WALL WHERE I DISPENSE AND COLLECT PAPERS! What's up with that? They were not nice fluffy toilet paper ends like you might have at home, with ten or fifteen squares left to spare. They were commercial end rolls. Tiny cardboard tubes the size and shape to protect a fine cigar, with see-through, gossamer-thin lengths of toilet paper with no perforations wrapped tightly around the tube. It was almost solid. Good luck finding the end of the roll, and more good luck trying to peel it away from the tube, and Sweet Gummi Mary help you if you need it in a hurry to staunch leakage at either end.

WHY would these two end rolls appear on my staging desk? Within two feet of that space, I have a tall box of Kleenex. The real brand-name tissue. I don't need a couple of end rolls from the crapper. They did not look like they would make good salt and pepper shakers. I'm not sure if this was a cry for help due to somebody's life going down the tubes, or a sweet proud gift left for me like a cat might leave an unwanted liver.

I really need to get one of those game cameras to set up when I leave. They're motion-sensitive, you know.


Sioux said...

This is a case of serious trespassing.

I think you should involve the authorities. It could be dangerous, setting up a camera. The culprit might lash back.

Let the professionals handle it. A SWAT team. A stake-out. Something....

Chickadee said...

With a camera, you really would be the all-knowing teacher. And if you got a camera and found out who the perpetrator was, you could mess with that student (well, only if they sit in the same desk every time), and place a TP roll on THEIR desk.

Hillbilly Mom said...

You seem to grasp the gravity of the situation without even hearing my mutterings each morning as I discover a fresh transgression.

I have a blueprint to Even Steven the perpetrator.

I have a hunch that the culprit is not a student. And I have a great recipe for the cold dish of revenge. A banquet, actually.