Let's take an informal survey. Show of hands. Oh, come on! Nobody is going to judge you by the choice you vote for. We are trying to find out why people have hair on their head.
Raise your hand if you say: to hold in body heat and keep you warm. Okay, one...two...three...four...five...
Now, raise your had if you think: to warn you that you're in danger of hurting your head. One...one...one...
Yeah. The hair on your head keeps in the body heat. Look it up. Siri didn't know. Siri sent us on a wild goose chase instructing us in proper grooming techniques. Google provided several results. None to the liking of my brother-in-law the former mayor. He kept searching to verify his belief. Then he found one. He read how hair on human heads hold in body heat. Then he read that it protects from minor injuries like scratches (one of which he was sporting on his nonhirsute noggin). THEN he read how hair acts as an alarm system to alert humans that something is there about to bump or gouge their skull, so they will withdraw their head from that situation.
I CALL MOOPS!
Yeah. He was totally making it up. Pretending to read that third use of head-hair from his phone screen. Next to me, he is probably the biggest Seinfeld authority in the county. Kudos for the effort.
I like to think of him as Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.