Saturday, October 18, 2014

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Predicts That The Upcoming Winter Will Be Average

On the way to town this morning, I saw three of these:

They were longer than this example, but they had just about as much brown. So unlike last year's woolly bears, which were totally, completely, unequivocally, inexplicably black.

In case you've been living under a rock waiting for GEICO put up a billboard telling you how 15 minutes can save you 15% on car insurance...woolly bear caterpillars can predict winter weather. Uh huh. It's true. I read it on the internet. Also, I saw those black caterpillars crossing the road last year, and in case you didn't hear, what with being so busy living under your rock, Newmentia had 21 SNOW DAYS! Which means those woolly bears knew something. AND I was seeing them crossing the road in July and August. Way too soon for the winter predictors to be out.

I'm going out on a limb here and declaring that this winter will be average. Newmentia may see a smattering of snow days, four or five, perhaps. STOP! Do not throw erasers at Mrs. Hillbilly Mom! That is hurtful. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom does not control the weather! You disgruntled educators need to track down that faculty member in your building who does the snow dance. It is not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom.

I still need to run this prediction by the persimmons for verification.




2 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Four or five? That is not sufficient. Four or five for you country folk means none for us city folk.

I'm gonna stick a shiv in every tire of every Tahoe in Hillmomba until I get to yours.

Watch your back (tires).

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Well, you'll only get three tires worth of satisfaction, because, my knife-happy Madam, one of T-Hoe's tires STILL has a slow leak, only now it needs three pounds of air every three days. I suppose a mathy might say it's losing a pound a day.

The man in this Mansion who takes care of such things has simply been derelict in his duties, what with telling the tire-fixing establishment that their estimation of a two o'clock fixing time was NOT conducive to barbershop building.

I, like T-Hoe's left front, feel deflated.