The Kind Of Tale For A Gloomy Day Near Halloween

The boys have this uncomfortable joke about white vans. I mainly heard it from The Pony, who, after all, was with me the past three years, while the #1 son was off carousing at college. It's not an actual joke, but a comment.

"At least I didn't get thrown into a white raper van."

For some reason, that van is always white in their reference. Usually, I picture an older style van, with no windows. Not a modern day minivan or 70s/80s conversion van.

On the way to get gas Friday, on an overcast day, rolling down the lake road, I came up behind a questionable vehicle. The windows in the back doors don't fit with my image of a raper van. The whole vehicle is a bit too new in model years. But this van was kind of decrepit. You can't see the dings and paint-rubbings very well at the bottom of the doors. But the license plate was behind a gray tinted plastic thing so that I could not see the numbers. It was going pretty slow. I'm sure the driver wondered what I was up to, because I threw caution to the wind to sneak a picture. DO NOT TAKE PHONE PICTURES WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING!

I'd almost get a snap, and then my phone (the latest hand-me-down cast off by #1) would go crazy, and switch to video, or back out of the close-up. I took three picture, but this one here is the best representation of the creepiness that is the white raper van.

I made it into town without crashing due to my photographic proclivities. And was backed up many cars deep waiting to cross over to Casey's for my gas, the culprit being a semi truck trying to make a left turn. Not the one in that photo. That was a long line of traffic.

Anyhoo...after at least 10 minutes just sitting there, all the other cars ahead of me, including the white raper van, made a right turn. I did, too, to get out. Then an immediate left to double back to Casey's for my gas, since some YAY-HOO had not pulled all the way forward at the two pumps where I could have driven straight across to a pump. I, however, DID pull all the way through at my pumps on the other side of him. Because I know proper gas station etiquette. Don't tell me there may have been a car in front of him when he pulled in. You forget that I was sitting there for 10 minutes, with a view of Casey's gas pumps.

Anyhoo...I stopped at the front pump, fiddled around in my 20 30-year-old purse for money, and stepped out to grab the nozzle. As I was hooking up T-Hoe with sustenance, I noticed a car pull in behind me. See? Good thing I know proper gas station etiquette! With everything hooked up and running, I turned to see who it was. Hillmomba is a small town, you know, and I sometimes run into former students or people who knew my mom. Not literally, of course. Meaning the running into. Not the knowing. But that too.

Imagine my surprise to see right behind me

THE WHITE RAPER VAN!

Sweet Gummi Mary! He must have doubled-back farther up the road in order to get back to Casey's. What if that dude demanded to know why I was taking pictures of his white raper van? I figured I might as well come clean and tell him the whole truth about taking white raper van pictures for The Pony. But he went inside to pay before I did. Once inside, I didn't know which one he was, because as soon as I saw that van, I turned my head away. So...I stood in line while each person paid. The cashier asked the dude in front of the dude in front of me if he had gas in that white [raper] van. He said no. Which meant I was directly behind the white raper van driver!

Indeed, that was confirmed when he said he was paying for gas. And he wanted some cigarettes. But he did not say anything extra. The girl even asked him a couple of things, but he did not respond. Just looked at her. He was a little creepy. In his mid-twenties. Not unattractive. Dark hair, cut reasonably short. A blue plaid long-sleeved shirt. Black jeans. Still, he gave off an odd vibe.

I made sure he had pulled away from the pumps before I left. Even if it meant buying four scratch-off tickets.