Saturday, October 1, 2016

Did You See The SIze Of That Rack?

Heh, heh! That's just the kind of question Farmer H wants Mrs. Hillbilly Mom to ask him. The fact that it was related to the deer antlers that Puppy Jack had dragged out into the front yard was not what he wanted to hear about.

The deer antlers have been here awhile. Since last poaching season. Get it? I crack myself up sometimes. POACHING is hunting out of season! So the last poaching season has been all the time since the last official deer season. Last fall. Okay. So maybe you had to be here, watching that little longfellow dragging antlers across the lawn.

Juno had possession of the rack for most of the year. She kept them in her doghouse on the back porch by the kitchen door. Among a collection of Jack's puppy toys. I'm surprised she could find room in there to sleep. I saw those antlers every time I went in or out the door. To the Mansion, of course. I'm not in the doghouse. I SEND people to the doghouse.

Earlier this week, when the cold snap came, Jack and Juno grew extraordinarily frisky. I saw them in the front yard with a myriad of toys, some that Jack had craftily hidden for himself. They battled over his canvas duck that squeaks, his mini tire on a rope, a golf ball used to make chickens sit, those antlers, and a tree limb about six feet long, two inches in diameter. That was a hoot, seeing Jack trying to prance around with it.

I warned Farmer H that he should look out for the antlers. The grass has taken off since last weekend's mowing, and even when I was walking across the yard, I could barely see the antlers. I was worried that Farmer H might run over them with the new lawnmower (which cost a pretty undiscussed penny, if you remember correctly) and tear up the mower deck. Farmer H was more concerned with puncturing a tire, probably on his Gator. It's like a Devil's Playground beeper cart for him.

I hope Juno learns to keep her rack to herself in the future.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

People pay good money for pieces of deer antler for their dogs to chew on.

Maybe Juno and Puppy Jack can set up a stand (ha--like a deer stand) and after they've gnawed the antler into smaller pieces, they can go into business together.

fishducky said...

Deer Val: I've got nothing...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Are you joshin' me? They actually BUY that stuff? If only they wanted hooves as well, I could cut them off the odd legs that the dogs drag up onto the front porch and wrestle over while thumping them against the house and front door.

Heh, heh! A deer stand! Dare I ask Farmer H to build one for them?

***
fishducky,
I hope you are not insinuating that is was MY rack in the front yard!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Since my canines are contained within a fenced yard they have to rely on Martha, the boy cat, to bring them treats to gnaw on. Rabbit legs and squirrel heads. Alas, there is no market for such! Sightings of a bob cat make me worry about Martha, but cats are hard to contain.