Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Between The Devil And The Long-Lost Chip

As you may recall, I finally received my new debit card with chip technology 30 days after being told to look for it in two weeks. The card I never requested, that was not due to expire for another year. I was quite concerned that my old regular debit card would quit working, as the original email told me. Of course, the bank representatives told me that my card was delivered on Thursday, and I didn't actually get it until the following Monday...so I don't know why I was worried about info given to me by the bank.

Anyhoo...on Tuesday morning, I called the automated number to activate my new chip card. I even asked Farmer H how a chip card works. So you KNOW I was desperate. He vaguely told me to stick in in the machine, rather than swipe it. Of course I headed into The Devil's Playground all confident with that detailed knowledge.

At the checkout, I told my Devil's Handmaiden, "I have a new chip card. I've never used it, and I'm not sure what I'm doing."

I grabbed my card by the end. Like Farmer H had told me. With the shiny chip at the opposite end from my thumb. The Devil's Handmaiden saw it. "Yes. Now just stick that end in, and it will make a noise."

I tried. I really did. But all at once, that whole card-reader black box thingy perched by the register FELL OFF! Not all the way off. A cable was holding it. But it dangled. I grabbed it right up, having tried to catch it initially. I saw that it was supposed to hook onto two screws, but that the one on the left was gone. So I had to hook the right side back, and kind of balance it.

"Oops! I've broken your card scanner! I see the problem. You have a screw loose! 
Heh, heh."

My DH came around the counter to show me. Oh, she was so helpful! "Just stick it in right there."

I tried, but my card kept bouncing off.

"Um. There's a slot for it."

"Oh, I see it now. I should have brought my glasses." I slid my card in. And out.

"You took it out too soon. It didn't make that noise." My DH went back around the counter to reset her register. Another Handmaiden from the next aisle over came to watch, while my DH came back to my side. "Slide it in again."

I did. "It's not doing anything."

"Let go of it!"

"I did. But nothing happened."

The other Handmaiden looked at the register. "It's okay. Just do it again."

I pushed my card in. Let go. It gave a message to remove the card. Then asked if I wanted cash back, and showed the place to put in my PIN.

"You've got it!" said my proud DH.

"I never asked for this card anyway. Why does everything have to be so hard?"

"It's really more secure," said the other Handmaiden. "I think of the chip like it has no memory. When you swipe the magnetic strip, the machine has to remember your information. With the chip, once you pull the card out, your information is gone. It reads it while the card is in, then the card is out, and it doesn't hold the information. The next time you use it, it recognizes your chip. That's how I remember it, anyway."

I really think the other Handmaiden should be working for the chip people. Her talents are being wasted by The Devil.

7 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I just take my customers cards and do it myself. If they take it out to soon, it generates a receipt telling us the transaction was cancelled. Wastes paper. Here is my gripe .... why can't they make all the processing machines alike? It makes us all look stupid when we try to use the cards.

Sioux Roslawski said...

HM--My goodness. A knowledgeable, helpful and personable employee of the Devil's Playground?

The world has tilted off its axis...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
That IS the easiest way!

Wait! The machines are different? Sweet Gummi Mary! I thought I had it mastered now. At least I'll have an excuse for my stupidity.

***
Sioux,
I THOUGHT I was feeling a little unsteady.

River said...

Those chip reader thingys aren't very stable, we had trouble with them falling off too. We used to hold the end or the customer would hold on to it while they inserted their cards.
We also got told the chips are more secure than a pin, and like you I don't believe it.
Wait until you hear about the "pay wave" technology,they may call it something different over there, but it means for any purchase under $100, you can just tap the card against the reader and voila! you're done. No signing, no pin and anyone at all who manages to steal your card can do the same as long as the purchase is under $100. NOT SAFE AT ALL in my opinion.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
My conspiracy theory mind says the chip is just another tracking device that we'll carry around like our phone.

Yeah, I've seen that "pay wave" technology. Are people in THAT MUCH of a hurry to buy their convenience store items? Well...except for 44 oz Diet Cokes, that's ridiculous!

River said...

Wait a minute, hold the line here: if the reader doesn't store the chip information, how does it recognise your chip the next time you use it?
This is in your last paragraph, and I think that girl has it wrong.
Or maybe I'm wrong. I think it doesn't store the information, just reads it and recognises a valid card. If a card has been reported stolen, it should show as invalid on any chip reader. But that works on the card's number, not any other information.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I have no idea how they work, that's just what The Devil's Playground checker told me. She is, after all, a Devil's Playground checker. If that's how she remembers the difference, good for her. Whatever gets her through the day. I couldn't do her job in a million years. I don't have the patience for people.

I worked as a checker at Casey's convenience store for six weeks, before I got a job working for the unemployment office. And dealing with the unemployed people wanting their money was not as stressful as being a checker!

Those chip reader thingies really ARE unstable! Today the lady in front of me tried to put in her PIN, and the whole thing tilted down to where it was perpendicular to the conveyor, making a ratcheting noise. She cranked it back upright for me, and I knew to be gentle with it.