Sunday, September 3, 2017

Bev'll Find Work For Idle Hands

Now that he is officially retired, Farmer H has been keeping busy. This morning, for instance, he thumped around under the back deck. Sounded like he was a lumberjack wielding an ax in a hardwood forest. I stepped out, looked over the rail, and saw that he had the Gator parked down by Poolio, with two 12-foot-long 4 x 4 posts laid across the back.

I'm not sure what was holding up the deck in place of them.

Then Farmer H said he has replacement posts, and won't be going down to Lowe's sometime this week. Which would cost money. None of which he is bringing home any more. And having earned too much this year to get social security income. I can only hope he doesn't run out and buy a third tractor. Or a lawnmower, without telling me. Or visit (shudder) The Good Feet Store.

He DID tell me to call our financial advisor and make an appointment for next week. So we can move some funds around and funnel ourselves a monthly allowance. Sweet Gummi Mary! You didn't think I would let this situation cut into my lottery money, did you?

Farmer H also got a call this morning at 8:00. Yes, he was still abed, having turned off his alarm, enjoying his 13th hour of slumber. It was his new best friend, Bev, the one he helped in serving court papers on Crazy Stick Dude.

Let's back up a minute. Farmer H first got a call from Bev on Friday, asking if he could come over and put up some lights for her and her husband. Farmer H said he was going to the auction, but he could do it on Saturday. Well! He was told in no uncertain terms that Bev and family do NOT do any business on Saturday, as that is their sabbath. Maybe not in so many words, but that's the gist of it. I don't know what religion that makes them, and I don't care. It just seems odd that they called on Friday, but didn't want to carry out their task on Saturday. Like they had expected Farmer H to rush over there right that minute.

Anyhoo...Farmer H got up to look at his phone. Stayed up. Took a shower. Then told me during the porch-weakening session, "Huh. I should have said, 'Well, I don't do any work on Sundays.' It's kind of true. You know I never really do anything but putter around. I should have told them that. Just to mess with them."

There he goes again, trying to grow a funny bone.

Later this afternoon, Farmer H said this "favor" would involve putting up six lights. Four of them he can do by standing on their porch. The other two will need a ladder. He said he would do it for $50. (He also told me, but not Bev, that an electrician would charge at least $250 to come out and do the job.) Bev said that was fine. Farmer H says it will take about two hours, maybe three, and that most of that will be loading up his tools and putting them away when he gets back.

I guess that $50 will go in his pocket.

Maybe Farmer H can find some more odd jobs. Sweet Gummi Mary! I'd probably pay him $50...just to go away for two hours. Maybe three.


Sioux Roslawski said...

HM--Whatever Farmer H earns doing odd jobs should be deducted from his allowance. Or, at the very least, split with you.

That only seems fair...

If he disagrees, perhaps you can earn money doing odd jobs, like making dinner for Farmer H...

fishducky said...

Two questions: how much did Farmer H pay for the shoes from The Good Feet Store & does he ever wear them?

Hillbilly Mom said...

That sounds fair to me! In fact, I'm on my way upstairs right now to make him two chili dogs. Because, you see, he doesn't know how to microwave two hot dogs and slap them on a bun and heat up some chili I made on Saturday and dice an onion and sprinkle shredded cheddar out of a bag.

Farmer H didn't buy SHOES at The Good Feet Store. Only shoe INSERTS! For which he paid $1000! They took measurements and made the inserts and then showed them to him and asked if he wanted them. He said yes, and THEN found out they were $1000. He called home and confessed right away. "I didn't know they'd be that much! I put them on the credit card, because I didn't know if we had that much in checking. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I changed my mind and didn't want them."

SWEET GUMMI MARY! I think I could be embarrassed if it saved me $1000!

Farmer H says the inserts are in his work boots. I don't know. I don't go sniffing around in his shoes. He wore them a lot right after he got them and said they helped his feet. I WOULD HOPE SO!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Too bad people don't read daily newspapers anymore .... just think how many hours delivering a rural route of papers would take! HeWho has quit towing, but still does cab rides, has a daily client. An old drunk who lives in a local motel and has no means of transportation. It gives me a nice break in the day.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Farmer H drives neighbor Tommy to the store every weekend! That's good for at least two hours, sometimes three!