Wednesday, September 6, 2017

There's The Beef

If you're reading this, it means I didn't poison myself.

Oh, this is not a cry for help. I'm not throwing in the towel. Not giving up the ghost. Not going gentle into that good night. I just decided to eat some food that's past its prime.

I made Farmer H hot sandwiches last night. Toasted whole wheat rolls with bologna, turkey (there's another story there sometime), pepper jack, and cheddar. Topped with onions, tomatoes, and pickles. I didn't want to partake of hot sandwiches, still having my evening walk before me. And why go to all that trouble when I come back in after walking and snacking the dogs? Who had, I might add, a plate of cheddar cheese (slightly molded), generic Doritos (we don't like them in the mini pack assortment), and Wonder Bread (a long loaf is too long, when only Farmer H eats it).

I found some sliced Italian bread from The Devil's Playground bakery, and a pack of roast beef. Granted, the pack of roast beef has been in FRIG II for a couple of weeks. I guess. It had to get moved back on the shelf to make room for the garlic bologna Farmer H asked for, and then ate half of, but said it tasted funny, and next time to get GARLIC bologna. I don't know how much more garlic it can get, past that GARLIC written on the package. But I'll see what I can do.

Anyhoo...I got out the pack of roast beef. The good stuff. Not a flat Buddig pack, but a regular plastic tray, with what looks like actual slices of roast beef. ANGUS roast beef. I put on my glasses. Huh. The date said AUG 24, 2017. Huh. It was now SEPT 5, 2017. Not TOO long past the date, is it? You know those dates. It said BEST IF USED BY.
Not THIS WILL KILL YOU IF USED AFTER.

So I figured, "Hey. I just gave Farmer H some cheddar slices that were in a pack with two spots of mold on another slice. So I don't think the odds favor BOTH of us dying of food poisoning tomorrow. I'm having this roast beef." I slapped some slices on that Italian bread, put some horseradish mayo in a ramekin on the side, plopped a Claussen dill spear on the plate, and took my feast to my dark basement lair.

I must say. It was expired. And it was delicious.

Some might have termed it breathtaking.

6 comments:

fishducky said...

If it isn't covered with mold or turned green I thing you'll live!!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Was that the "sell by" date or the "use by" date? I would have eaten it, too. I would have thoroughly sniffed it and if it passed the sniff test .... it's a go.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Did you just fall into that sandwich and grab it with both hands?

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
I LIVED! That roast beef looked perfectly normal. It was the cheddar slice(s) that had two spots of green mold. I didn't eat any cheese...

***
Kathy,
That's the catch. It was stamped with a date that said, "BEST IF USED BY AUG 24, 2017." It didn't mention a command to SELL IT by that date. Or simply USE BY. So it kind of implied that you COULD sell it and use it after that date, but that the roast beef just wouldn't be the BEST. Which kind of leaves a lot of leeway, if you ask me.

I've had another package of this roast beef that was within the date, but the clear plastic on top of the tub was bulging. It still smelled like processed, packaged roast beef. But I didn't want to take a chance. It wasn't like that when I bought it. That became a dog snack.

***
Sioux,
No. Nobody told me to try and find out the quality of the roast beef. And I wasn't in a sauna with it.

River said...

If the package had already been opened, then shoved to the back of the fridge, I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole, but UNopened packages are usually good for at least a week after the use by date. Unless they're "blown",(swollen) as mentioned above.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I'm still kickin'!