If you're reading this, it means I didn't poison myself.
Oh, this is not a cry for help. I'm not throwing in the towel. Not giving up the ghost. Not going gentle into that good night. I just decided to eat some food that's past its prime.
I made Farmer H hot sandwiches last night. Toasted whole wheat rolls with bologna, turkey (there's another story there sometime), pepper jack, and cheddar. Topped with onions, tomatoes, and pickles. I didn't want to partake of hot sandwiches, still having my evening walk before me. And why go to all that trouble when I come back in after walking and snacking the dogs? Who had, I might add, a plate of cheddar cheese (slightly molded), generic Doritos (we don't like them in the mini pack assortment), and Wonder Bread (a long loaf is too long, when only Farmer H eats it).
I found some sliced Italian bread from The Devil's Playground bakery, and a pack of roast beef. Granted, the pack of roast beef has been in FRIG II for a couple of weeks. I guess. It had to get moved back on the shelf to make room for the garlic bologna Farmer H asked for, and then ate half of, but said it tasted funny, and next time to get GARLIC bologna. I don't know how much more garlic it can get, past that GARLIC written on the package. But I'll see what I can do.
Anyhoo...I got out the pack of roast beef. The good stuff. Not a flat Buddig pack, but a regular plastic tray, with what looks like actual slices of roast beef. ANGUS roast beef. I put on my glasses. Huh. The date said AUG 24, 2017. Huh. It was now SEPT 5, 2017. Not TOO long past the date, is it? You know those dates. It said BEST IF USED BY.
Not THIS WILL KILL YOU IF USED AFTER.
So I figured, "Hey. I just gave Farmer H some cheddar slices that were in a pack with two spots of mold on another slice. So I don't think the odds favor BOTH of us dying of food poisoning tomorrow. I'm having this roast beef." I slapped some slices on that Italian bread, put some horseradish mayo in a ramekin on the side, plopped a Claussen dill spear on the plate, and took my feast to my dark basement lair.
I must say. It was expired. And it was delicious.
Some might have termed it breathtaking.