Monday, September 11, 2017

If It Weren't For BAD Memory, He'd Have No Memory At All

Farmer H is sometimes forgetful. And I'm not EVEN referring to the things I command him to do, yet he doesn't. That's just selective hearing.

No, I'm not EVEN talking about when he declares he didn't buy NOTHIN' with the debit card on a certain date. Absolutely not. He's certain. I'd better call the bank and see if it's debit card fraud, because if I didn't buy something, then somebody is ripping us off. Because he knows he didn't do it. Until I ask about a list of items that he's been known to buy, and find DID buy a tube for the tractor tire that cost about that much exactly.

What we're talking about here today is when Farmer H loses a beloved possession. Okay. Maybe beloved is a bit dramatic. But he has gewgaws that he likes, and when he can't find one, he's can't let it go.

"Didn't you buy me an LED lantern from school? Runs on batteries?"

"I'm pretty sure. I got one for my mom, too. There won't be any more! Now that I'm not at school for the Books Are Fun displays. They used to have some good discounts. That's why I got you that lantern. I thought you'd like it. I don't know what we did with Mom's. Sis might have it. I think I let her take it, since they go camping."

"Well...I thought I had mine down in my cabin. But I looked yesterday, and it's not there. I looked in the BARn, and I can't find it."

"I don't think it's up here. I haven't seen it in the basement."

"I'd really like to find it. I liked that little lantern." The next day, Farmer H suddenly remembered. "Oh! I took it over to Buddy's rental house when I was helping him wire it for that deaf lady. Now he's evicting her. Well. He's not. But HUD is. He said NO PETS, and the neighbor told him she has a cat that she lets out a couple times a day. He went over there and found a cat box in the house. So she's gotta move. Anyway, I had it down in the basement while I was working on the electric panel. It's sitting right in the middle of the basement, last I remember. I need to call Buddy and see if he can get it back."

So...several days went by. Yesterday, Farmer H said, "Buddy went over to the house and looked all around, in every room, but he couldn't find my lantern. We don't know if that lady took it, or what."

Flash forward to this evening, when I came in from walking and snacking the dogs, and sat down on the short couch to converse with Farmer H.

"Oh, you know my lantern I've been looking for? I found it!"

"Where was it?"

"Out in The Pony's Knife Shack. I forgot I had it in there."

"Did you tell Buddy you found it."

"Nope. And I may not."

Yeah. That sounds like Farmer H's style.


River said...

So how long will Buddy spend looking for that lantern before Hick fesses up?
I've got a couple of battery operated LED's myself, for when we get power blackouts. I decided candles were too dangerous with the cat running around all spooked by the blackness.

Sioux Roslawski said...

That does not surprise me. Farmer H gets everybody all worked up into a tizzy, and then when he finds out it was his fault/mistake/forgetfulness, it's silence or "never mind" but never an apology...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Buddy is exactly like Farmer H. He will figure he's done his part to look for the lantern, and won't give it another thought.

I have a little LED flashlight in my office and by my OPC (Old People Chair) downstairs, for when the power goes off. When both boys were still at home, they had their own flashlight, too. The power used to go off a lot more!

You know Farmer H well. I'm pretty sure you have one of your own at home. Not as close a match as Kathy's HeWho, though.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Why, just this morning, as I tried to offer my advise on locating a stud in the ceiling by measuring from the stud he had already located instead of drilling seven holes in the ceiling ..... he sighed loudly and demanded to know where his tape measure was! Like I had taken it and was hiding it from him. I suppose I could have offered to let him use mine.