Friday, June 22, 2018

It Has Come To Pass

Now that Farmer H and I are living the life, my greatest fears about retirement have come to pass. He's home too dang much, making demands on my time! Passive-aggressive demands!

Since the Fly-by-Night Drug Courier Service has not yet contacted Farmer H to make a run (another story all its own), he's underfoot. It's too hot to hang out at his Storage Unit Store shooting the bull. Too hot to straighten up his Freight Container Garage full of Storage Unit Store stuff. Poolio seems to have lost his luster. And there are only so many days a week Farmer H can spend four hours at the barbershop, getting his sparse hair cut.

Wednesday morning, he came home from who knows where, and sat down on the long couch with a manilla file folder.

"I have my paperwork from that drug place. I'm gonna make a copy before I give it back."

Farmer H thumbed through the folder, remarking on different forms. There must have been 15 pages in that folder.

"What you MEAN is...I'M going to make a copy of all those before you take it back."

"There you go. No. I was planning to make my own copies."

"On MY copier/printer? You don't even know how. You'll get it all messed up. I'll do it."

"It's not MY fault you have stuff piled all over it!"

See, there's the thing. Farmer H can have 20 buildings (some made especially for such purposes) piled high with junk...but let ME stack some printouts of receipts pertaining to The Pony's college expenses on top of my copier/printer (mainly used as a printer), and he's ready to call Hoarders.

"I'll go down and move it over."

"FORGET IT! I'll go to town and find SOMEBODY that will copy it for me!"

"Okay. Whatever."

See, I'm not going to beg Farmer H to let me make his copies for him. I'm done playing his games. He has tantrums like a toddler when he doesn't get his way RIGHT AT THE MOMENT HE WANTS IT. He waves his arms and raises his voice and sometimes swears at me because I DON'T DO NOTHIN' for him. That's Farmer H's way of dealing with our togetherness. Mine is trashing him on the innernets.

Kind of made me regret those FIVE PAGES of attractions near the Henry Ford Museum in Michigan (that I'd printed out the night before, after searching for them, at Farmer H's request) that I'd left for him overnight, on the bathroom counter by his glasses.

7 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Too much togetherness already?

Hee hee.

How long has Hick been retired? It hasn't been that long, and you have ALREADY had your fill?

I think Karma just bit you...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Farmer H has been retired for 9.5 months. I guess that makes him a full-term big baby! Yes, Karma is feasting on my ample rumpus. Tonight I spent an HOUR of valuable innernets time looking up a belt buckle for him, when I really just wanted to belt him. Lucky for him, he was gone to the auction...

River said...

How can he possibly get the copying messed up? load the paper, load the sheet you want copied, press "start". It's not rocket science and if I can work it out so can he. Or am I being too kind?

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
The buttons don't actually show START or COPY. Unlike the machines at school that had about 3 buttons, this one has a bunch, with a number pad. It's a scanner/fax, too. To make a copy, you have to push a button twice, until the little screen says READY. The button itself has a symbol that looks like an open book. Two side-by-side pages.

Genius picked this one out. It's a laser printer, from back when home use of lasers was not common. I could probably replace it for cheaper than the cartridges, but then I'd have to learn something new.

Farmer H could definitely mess it up, pushing buttons all willy-nilly until he accidentally found out how to work it. But it's nice of you to assume that Farmer H could do it. He gets little enough kindness around here!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it amazing how much harder life is when your helpmate is there full time?

River said...

Oh. I was looking at my own new little printer/scanner/copier, which is just a cheap, but very pretty, bright red, ink jet model. So simple to use too.

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
Strangely enough, it seems that I am doing more for my HELPmate that my HELPmate is doing for ME!

***
River,
Yeah, mine is a relic. But you probably learn new things easier than I do. Once I figure something out, I'm reluctant to switch it for a newer model.

As Genius always said, "Technology is not your friend." I think "technology simpleton" might have been mentioned a couple of times, too.