Monday, August 13, 2018

Fat Chance, Farmer H

Ho! Ho! Ho! Pardon me for being so jolly. I'm tickled by the machinations of Even Steven.

Before we left on our Pony-visiting trip last week, I'd written up a series of blog posts to automatically publish while I was livin' the high life in Norman, Oklahoma. One of them was yesterday's tale of greedy Farmer H, and his luckless lottery life.

When we stopped for gas on our trip, numerous times, you know, because it's a 9 hour drive...I figured I might as well pick up some scratchers. When else would I have a chance at distant tickets? Of course, it only worked on the Missouri stops. Oklahoma has scratchers, but their payoff isn't as good. I think I only bought a couple, the very first time we went out there with The Pony, to his summer orientation camp.

Anyhoo...I had some of my own winners to cash in. But on the first stop, not one of our usual Casey's, I didn't take them in (nor any cash) as we went inside to use the facilities. Farmer H said he'd spot me. He bought himself one ticket, and two for me, with the promise I'd pay him back farther down the road. All three turned out to be losers, but that's why they call it gambling, not winning. Of course Farmer H was not surprised. He rarely wins. I knew that a bigger sample should even out the odds. They're 1 in 4 for the tickets we play.

At the next stop, the Steelville Casey's, just for the bathroom this time, since A-Cad's gas was holding up...I cashed in one of my previous winning tickets, and got four more. Two of them, I owed to Farmer H as repayment. Once in the car, I fanned them out.

"You can pick whichever two you want. I don't care."

Of course he picked the two I like to play. But that was fine. I'd scratch the tickets I don't really like, and don't normally get. That store only had four kinds of the $5 scratchers, so I'd gotten one of each. As Farmer H drove, I scratched his tickets. Loser. Loser.

"Well, that figures. I don't never win."

Then I scratched my two tickets. Winner. $5. And the last one was THIS:


If you look closely, you'll see that I didn't match any numbers, but I got a FAT WALLET! That meant I won all 15 prizes!

Poor Farmer H. Winning was within his grasp. I'd held out those four tickets, giving him first choice. He had a 1-in-4 chance of picking that $100 winner. But he didn't.

Like he says, he never wins. I think we know why.

4 comments:

River said...

WOW!
Probably he doesn't need to win because he makes money from his storage container sheds and Even Steven sees that.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I could see that. Even Steven making Farmer H work a little bit for his windfall. Fair is fair. And I don't get paid for my household work, so Even Steven compensates me with scratchers.

Anonymous said...

WOW!! Be sure to thank Mr. Steven!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
Even Steven is my copilot!