Juno Needs To Buy A Safe For Her Valuables Before Her Roommate Moves In

Remember how Mrs. HM enjoys a sweet treat every night after supper? Dessert, if you will. Whether it's a Gourmet Lollipop, a Tootsie Pop, an individual cup of birthday cake ice cream, or the even better individual cup of Edy's Grand Ice Cream.

You may also recall that Farmer H has...how does veteran character actor Wilford Brimley say it...THE DIABETUS. He is not supposed to have such sweet treats. But he does. If I don't buy them for him, he drives to Casey's for a couple/three donuts. On our trips to Oklahoma, he forages for candy bars at the rest stop vending machines. When I go to The Devil's Playground, I always bring him back a treat: the sugar free variety. Candies. And cookies. But sugar free.

Let the record show that Save A Lot has been out of my favorite ice creams. The only Edy's they've had are the VANILLA kind. I don't like vanilla. So I've gone without for two weeks. But Saturday, they had a few Drumstick and Caramel Swirl containers. Yippee! Drumstick is my favorite flavor! There were only four, and I had to rearrange some boxes to get to them in the back of the freezer case. I also took four of the Caramel Swirl. My second favorite. Because you never know when a new shipment will come in.

Once home, I put the Drumstick ice cream cups on the bottom shelf of FRIG II's freezer door. And the Caramel Swirl on the shelf above them. I contemplated starting out that night's sweet treat with a Drumstick. It's been at least six weeks since I found that flavor. But no. I decided to save them until last, and take a Caramel Swirl. "But HM, what if Farmer H takes one? Wouldn't you rather he got the Caramel Swirl and not your favorite Drumstick?" Well, yes! But Farmer H had already declared that he wasn't going to eat any, that decision being made upon his last A1C report from his doctor nurse practitioner.

I'd been buying him two of those Edy's per week, at his request, after he'd asked for, and been granted permission, to try one of mine. The Cookie Dough flavor. They're twice as big as his regular ice cream cups of vanilla with chocolate/strawberry swirl. Not good for him, either, but the lesser of ice cream evils. "Don't get me no more of them ice creams. I'll just eat my old kind." Straight from the Farmer's mouth.

By now, you've guessed what happened, right? I came upstairs for bed Sunday night, and saw the carcass of one of my Drumstick ice creams in the trash. I asked Farmer H on Monday night, as I was getting his supper ready, if there was something he wanted to confess.

"No. I don't think so. Nothing that I know of."

"Something missing? Something of mine?"

"No."

"Something in the kitchen?"

"Oh. I ate one of them ice creams."

"You didn't even ASK! At least you used to ASK!"

"I don't think I have to ask to eat anything in this house."

"You're just like Genius, eating The Pony's brownies and leaving the empty box! You say you don't want anything from the store, and then when someone else gets something, you eat it!"

"It was just an ice cream."

"Yeah. My FAVORITE kind! That I haven't been able to find for six weeks. AND you said not to get any for you! I always put yours up on the top shelf, with your other ice cream."

"HM. It's ice cream. Quit making a big deal."

"I'm making a big deal because you didn't ask. I would have told you to eat the Caramel Swirl. You just assume everything in the house belongs to you! You sit in there like a king on your throne, taking what you please, never giving anything back. AND you won't even admit that you shouldn't have done it!"

"I don't know why you have to go on and on. It's not a big deal."

"It IS a big deal! After 29 years of this stuff! You know, I don't have a $17,000 garage stuffed with junk. All I wanted was a $1.00 ice cream for my own."

Really. Is that so wrong?