Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Village Of The Blamed

Here in Hillmomba, taking responsibility for one's own actions is virtually unheard of. So is that unwritten rule of writing, about using prepositions to end sentences with. Or maybe it's written down.

Anyhoo...Farmer H went to the doctor last week for his regular checkup. Whoopsie! Did I say DOCTOR? We all know that was a nurse practitioner. She was not pleased with his A1C. I don't  think it was very high, but then, I don't deal in A1Cs. Back when I was gestating Genius and The Pony, blood sugar was measured in those other units, where normal was between 80-100. I think Farmer H said she wants it at 6.5, and his was 7.2, which doesn't seem all that much to me. But I'm not a doctor. Or nurse practitioner.

Farmer H says the NP wants him to exercise more. She tells him that every single visit. He gets around, and is active, not sitting in front of a computer all day like me...but his activity is sporadic, going here and there, to and fro, without sustained cardio. Farmer H also said he's supposed to drink more water.

"I tell you that all the time!"

"HM, I DRINK water!"

"With a meal. Or when you sit down at night. You need it through the day, especially when it's so hot, and you're on the tractor or mower for five hours!"

"I can't just drive the tractor over here and park it to run in and have a drink!"

"I don't know why not. You even keep a case of water over in the BARn. In Original FRIG. I might have an old purse laying around, that you could drape around your neck and carry water in!"

"Well, I have a wife, who could drive and find me with a cooler of water, and snacks."

"THAT ain't happenin'! I'm not your freakin' servant!"

"I knew that's what you'd say."

Seriously? What will I be expected to do next, pull his lips apart, pour the water in, tilt his head back, and pinch his nose until he swallows? All while hanging onto the back of the tractor seat, that wished-for cooler on my shoulder? And we don't even want to THINK about what my duties might be when that water needs to come out of him!


River said...

Tell Farmer H about EVERYBODY I KNOW that carries a one litre bottle of water with them in their car or tractor or forklift, whatever it is they're driving, and they drink that water all day long. There's always somewhere in any vehicle to stash a bottle of water. He has no excuse.

Hillbilly Mom said...

He's whining this morning that he feels like he might have another kidney stone. Didn't drink enough water on our nine hour trip!

fishducky said...

Why does he need more water? You've said he was ALL WET many times!!

River said...

Let him whine, he has only himself to blame.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Heh, heh! So true.

I might have to drive him to the hospital! That could cut into prime 44 oz Diet Coke time!