Tuesday, I made a rare trip to The Devil's Playground. I've been staying out of there lately, because I don't like the Devil telling me which way I can walk down the aisles. Country Mart and Save A Lot let me roam free. But sometimes I want things that can't be found there. Like SLAW!
Anyhoo... we are down to five rolls of toilet paper at the Mansion. We have three bathrooms. Normally, I buy the 9-roll pack of Charmin. I've been unable to find that for several months now. Not that I've been actively looking with the intent of buying. I'd just bought some when the Stay-At-Home-Down started, and then I bought two four-packs for Farmer H at Country Mart.
Anyhoo... the shelves were pretty bare. Then again, it was the second day of the month, and people getting their money have likely been out shopping. I saw a couple of giant packs of Charmin on the bottom shelf. GIANT! Like, it would have taken up my whole cart/walker. I think it was probably 24 rolls. I didn't need that much!
I wheeled down to take a look at some boxes on an eye-level shelf. The first five of them were empty. I moved them out of the way, and saw six-packs of toilet paper in the boxes behind! I pried one out and put it in my cart/walker. Then I figured I'd take another. Off I went to the front of the store. Which was not an easy journey, because almost everyone in there had three or four children tagging along. Maybe it was a field trip for their home education...
Once up front, I piled my stuff on the conveyor. SLAW, and deli pizza, and romaine lettuce, soda, chicken patties, snacks for Farmer H, snacks for The Pony, snacks for me, Puffs with Lotion, and my toilet paper. I was putting bags in my cart/walker when the checker said,
"Uh. I'm sorry. But you are only allowed ONE pack of toilet paper."
"One? I thought the limit was two."
I just threw that out there, because Farmer H had said that it was a limit of two when he went there and the shelves were empty. I didn't even read the signs this time.
"No. The limit is one."
"Okay. I guess I should have bought the ONE pack that had 24 in it, instead of six..."
"I really hate taking away people's stuff."
"Not a problem. It's not your fault. It just doesn't make sense to me. I can't have 12 rolls, but I can have 24."
It will be a hot day in Hillmomba before I return to the Devil's Playground...
5 comments:
I said the same thing about Walmart the other day. It took forever to check out and try to keep six feet apart while standing in the middle of the aisle. People were trying to get in front of me and I was trying my best to be polite until one old man got smart with me. I thought that’s it I’m done. Also, the Charming I bought was not the usual plush kind. It was more like industrial, rough TP. Again, I’m done with shopping there.
Yep. Now you know. No matter how many rolls you have at home, when you see it available at the store, you buy it. A jumbo pack (40 rolls) or whatever. And you keep buying it, every time.
Your goal? You accumulate enough to build a small fortress with toilet paper rolls. Turrets. A bridge. The whole shebang.
You are on a Seinfeld roll. The rental car episode. The "spare a square" episode. Here is another one.
If you run out of toilet paper because you don't follow my advice (of buying lots of it every single time you go to the store) you will have to decide if your house guests are TP-worthy. If they aren't, they won't be invited over...
I would have bought the 24 pack instead of looking for a smaller pack. So you don't need that much right now, but surely you can store it for the future? Just put the usual amount in the bathrooms and hide the rest away until needed. It doesn't have a use by date.
Angie,
I was sticking way out in the aisle, standing on the markings. But I went up and down the aisles with abandon, scoffing at the ONE WAY commands. Enough is enough! Even the workers had their masks down under their chins (the workers outside, monitoring the cattle-chute entrance), or at least under their nose (the checkers trying to breathe).
I usually get the Extra Strong, which is kind of quilted. But Farmer H got some that was not, which was rough and fragile at the same time!
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Sioux,
That giant pack would have filled up my cart! I might have dislocated a shoulder trying to store it in the hall closet.
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Sioux 2,
Good one. Yes, between here and my other blog, I can work in a lot of Seinfeldisms! At least I'm not knocking a toothbrush into the toilet and putting it back on the sink, or bringing an expensive book into the bathroom without an intent to buy it, and I don't take off my shirt while using the facilities...
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River,
That does seem reasonable. It would only be 8 rolls per bathroom. But we keep it in the hall closet with the towels and sheets, and grab a roll when a bathroom is about to run out. So it seemed like way too much at once.
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