Their Idea Of An Appointment, And MY Idea Of An Appointment, Is A Bit Different

Since March, I have not been able to enter my bank. No, it has nothing to do with that time I was all but accused of trying to deposit a fake check. It's a punishment for everybody. Granted, my branch is a small facility. On a good day, it's hard to shoehorn 10 customers in there, even if three tellers are open. Which rarely happened.

 

Now we are expected to do all our transactions at the drive-thru. I don't know about you, but I don't like saying my business into a speaker, while all cars waiting can hear me if the windows are down. However... we can go online and make an appointment, in 15-minute increments, to actually enter the bank, and speak to an associate.

 

I have 13 series EE savings bonds that mature this year. I usually take three at a time to redeem them. I hadn't done that yet when the bank closed its doors in March. The year is running out, people! I don't want a tax penalty if I wait too long for redemption. So I made an appointment for 1:15 on Wednesday. The form asked the purpose of my visit, since I didn't check any of the options provided. I was quite specific.

 

"I want to redeem 4 Series EE Savings Bonds that I inherited."

 

The bank website said it had sent me an email to verify my appointment. LIAR! It sent me an email the day of the 1:15 appointment, at 11:15 a.m. Not really a problem. I had written it down. The bank also gave me the name of the associate I would be meeting with. I didn't recognize the name. Not that I would.

 

Anyhoo... at 1:13 I walked from T-Hoe to the front door of the bank. I put on my mask. The bank website said a mask is required for entering the facility for an appointment. I had my folder of documents under my arm. Even though the bank website said the only thing I needed to bring was a picture ID. I knocked on the glass door of the bank. 

 

NOTHING.

 

I waited a couple of minutes, then knocked again. Harder. Finally a gal came to unlock it and let me in. She was the same gal who called the wrong entity on the cashier's check I brought from my credit union last year, and said they did NOT write me a check! THAT GAL! And who wouldn't let me withdraw money from my own account, because she said there was a 10-day hold on that check, even though my balance was far more than the amount of that check! But I digress...

The Bank Gal acted like she didn't know me from that debacle when I had asked for a supervisor (who overruled her). And I acted like I didn't know that she knew. She was also the one who had redeemed Series EE Savings Bonds for the first time, when I had brought them in last year.

 

She did not ask my name. I said I had a 1:15 appointment. She asked what for. I said to redeem 4 Series EE Savings Bonds that I inherited. Sheesh! You'd think they might check their schedule for such information.

 

Anyhoo... I ASSUMED that an appointment meant that I would be escorted to a desk, and sit across from a masked employee, and provide my documents, and complete my redemption.

 

The Bank Gal had a different concept of an appointment. To her, it meant letting someone inside her lair, like old times, to conduct business at the counter.

 

She WAS wearing a mask. Plain and businesslike black. She did not ask me for identification! I shoved the bonds (with my information already completed on the back), and the required death certificate, through the mouse-hole opening in the clear plastic divider that protected her from me. The bonds have my mom's name on them, and also my name with POD (pay on death). So I have to prove that Mom's dead, and I'm not a deadbeat stealing her bonds.

The Bank Gal took my documents and whisked away to a back room. She was gone a while. I stood at the counter. She might have said I could have a seat over in the waiting area. SHE knew how involved this process would be. I thought it might go quicker, since I had basically given her the training in it last year. Heh, heh. Yet she came back and fiddled around with her computer, and went back again to speak to someone unseen in an office. Lots of fiddling about with stuff, which is probably required. 

Meanwhile, I stood at the counter. And stood. And stood some more. My knees do not like standing. So I leaned. And leaned. And leaned some more. It took 27 MINUTES to complete my appointment! So much for my 15-minute time segment. Good thing nobody else had an appointment at 1:30. A guy DID come to the door. He knocked, but nobody went to let him in.

The other associate was working the drive-thru alone. Alternating the two lines that were open. She wore her mask under her chin. I suppose she did not have any appointments lined up for the afternoon.

As The Bank Gal (who was perfectly polite during my entire appointment, no accusations or denials this time) escorted me to the door to release me from my punishment... I commented that I'd be back in a week or two to do it all over again.

"I held off, thinking you would open back up, but I finally had to make an appointment."

"Oh, we can do this through the drive-thru! You don't have to make an appointment."

"Well, I'm pretty sure the people waiting behind me in line would not be happy to sit there for 27 minutes with the line not moving."

"Oh. We could tell you to drive around front, and then we could bring it out when we were finished."

Not bloody likely. Who knows how long it would take if they're also servicing the drive-thru in the midst of doing my bidding? Besides, I don't feel like folding up the death certificate to fit it into a canister. Those things aren't free, you know. It has to be an official copy.

Anyhoo... my banking business was done. Done politely. But not in the form of an appointment.