Sunday, September 20, 2020

No Help For The Wheezy

Here we go again. The Pony was being horsey while I tried to talk to him about a serious issue with my computing! He sat on the long couch, leaning over the coffee table while munching on an storebought Italian Sub that I had bought for Farmer H at Country Mart. Shh... Farmer H doesn't need to know that he got a ham and cheese by default. I felt a little bad when Farmer H asked, "Is that all that's on it? Ham and cheese?" when I asked if he wanted some sliced pickle and onion and tomato.
 
Anyhoo... Farmer H left for the auction, The Pony was then free to flaunt his Italian Sub, and I broached the subject of suddenly being unable to access the public Facebook pages of my daily news sources. Namely the local newspaper, county health center, and a St. Louis news station.
 
"I think they all set their pages to MAKE you have a Facebook account. If it was a Facebook problem, people would be complaining about it all over the internet. And it doesn't sound like a problem with your cookies or our internet connection."
 
"That's hard to believe, that all of them made that decision last night after midnight! I can't even get the pop-up box anymore that lets me say 'not now' and read anyway. My Firefox updated a couple days ago. But it won't work in Internet Explorer, either. I'd text Genius, but I'm pretty sure that on a Saturday night at 7:00, he won't be interested in helping me."
 
"To be fair, he probably wouldn't be interested in helping you no matter what day and time. I think you might as well set up a Facebook account. That will solve the problem."
 
"I've never been on Facebook, and I'm not going to start now."
 
"Then I guess you won't know what's going on in the news, and how many VIRUS cases we have now."
 
"I guess I could do a fake account. Couldn't I? What will I need?"
 
"I'm pretty sure that's against conditions you have to agree to when you sign up."
 
"Oh, like nobody in the world has a fake account!"
 
"You'll have to have an email account and a phone number."
 
"Is that all?"
 
"Well, I'm pretty sure someone like you won't go in and actually set up the other stuff on the account. But that's all I'm telling you! I will NOT help you do something that's against the rules!"
 
"Excuuuuse ME! All I want to do is read stuff on public pages! They don't need to know anything about me! Didn't I used to have a third email account? Way back when I had another blog?"
 
"Yes. You did. And the password was ------."

"YES! I remember it now! And I think my user name was ------."

"I am not going to help you! I never even cared about anything on the internet. You even MADE me get a phone back then, to call you after practice for academic team."

"Oh, too bad you didn't have more of an interest in speaking up for yourself, to avoid that MANDATORY cell phone! If---"

And this is when I started to get the Muttley wheezy laugh. I could NOT get out my sentence. The Pony ignored me, taking bites of his Italian Sub, and swigs of his ice water in the metal cup I had originally bought for myself.

"Heh, heh... if you... had... oh! I can't! I can't get it out! I don't want you to choke when I say it! If you... feel like you are going to choke from laughing... just feel free to spit the food across the carpet. It won't matter... with the wax melted in it... heh, heh..."

The Pony kept taking quick bites of the sandwich, because I wouldn't try to tell him while he was chewing. Then he'd swig some water, and take another bite before I could talk. That did not help my wheezing.

"Oh, oh... I can't! My chest hurts so bad it feels like it's in your dad's body!"

I saw The Pony's lip corners begin to curl.

"Aha! You're laughing! What I was... going to say..."

The Pony tilted his head back, and opened his mouth, while trying not to grin. I couldn't tell if he was going to spit out the food, or trying to choke himself!

"I was going to say... ah... ah... if you'd been more forceful, maybe you would have SAID SOMETHING... heh, heh... when I drove away with you dragging one foot on the pavement, HA HA HA HA!"

"Mother! I was NOT dragging one foot on the pavement. I was climbing back in after you sent me to look for Genius in Newmentia, and you DROVE OFF, and I had both feet on the running board, trying to hold onto the open door with my hands!"

"AH HA HA... HA HA HA... you should have SAID SOMETHING!"

Poor Pony. He's had a hard life. But I don't know why he would hold that against me and not help me get my daily dose of news now...

5 comments:

River said...

The Pony should have said something?? YOU drove of while he wasn't even in the car yet!
I'm sorry you can't access the news pages though, you may have to bite the bullet and buy a daily newspaper for real instead. Or find another source, like TV news.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Here now! We shan't have somebody taking THE PONY'S side in this battle! He was young! Spry! A 10-year-old has flexible bones! I daresay he could have trotted alongside T-Hoe for a while until I noticed that he wasn't answering my conversation. Or could he??? Since he didn't answer much back then, either, and I may not have noticed for quite a while.

I was distracted. The Pony reported that Genius was down at the other end of the building, so I was going to drive around the building on the parking lot. I thought The Pony was in the car. He said that two of the younger brothers (also a teacher's kids) of Genius's crony were standing in the doorway, looking on in horror as I drove off. Maybe that's why one of them declared that he was afraid of me when it came time for him to be in my class!

Our local news isn't on TV, and the local newspaper has grown smaller and smaller. My mom used to have a subscription. Now it's about the size of a child's fairy tale book! I have thought about getting an online subscription to it (money is not the issue), but when I tried one time, the screen demanded that I put in a name (other than the info needed for payment) to use for commenting, which I never planned to do. They outsmarted themselves right out of a yearly subscription. I'm funny like that.

I DID go and make a Facebook account. Which made me use an email to get a code number, and then after using THAT code number, it made me put in a phone number to receive another code number by TEXT! This irked me greatly, since I never give out that number, and I can't exactly receive a text on my landline. Anyhoo... my nosiness for news was greater than my demand for privacy, so I gave the number, and was back into my public pages with a quickness.

Guess what? After I logged out, I was STILL ABLE TO ACCESS THOSE PUBLIC PAGES AGAIN! I am pretty sure some cookie was installed that allows access, now that they got my email and phone number!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux Roslawski commented on "Hick, in the Casino, With a Dope"
7 hours ago
Oh, I was wondering if Farmer H was going to rumble (we're reading "The Outsiders" right now. Forgive me). Consider me disappointed. ;) I bet Buddy wore a mask as he drove home--alone.

***
Sioux,
I brought this comment over here, since I figured that's where you wanted it, referring to Farmer H.

Farmer H was indeed getting a bit prickly with that masked Buddy looking down from his high horse. No rumble, though. Farmer H has not been feeling well, and I am a bit worried about him. He's been to the doctor, had tests, and is still in the dark. It's been a week. The nurse who gave his shot on Friday said that the doctor looked at chest x-rays, and wants him to see a lung specialist. That's just hearsay at the moment. Sorry to disappoint you, and hoping that Farmer H returns to RUMBLING FORM soon enough.

I have no doubt that Masked Buddy wore it home in the car. He probably showered with it, too, and then strapped his breather on over it to be safe while he slept.

Sioux Roslawski said...

I don't understand either, because if you could get your daily dose of news, you could converse more with The Pony. You could become so long-winded, The Pony might not have time to soak in the triangle tub every evening...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I know, right? He can take a soak any time, but a conversation with ME? That should take priority!