What We Had There Was A Failure To Communicate

Saturday, I stopped by Casey's to purchase scratchers. 

As I parked T-Hoe, customers poured out of their autos like roaches scurrying when the lights go on in a run-down city apartment. They rushed the door like Bozos from a broken-down clown car elbowing their way into an Uber. I sat back to wait a minute. I prefer not to stand in line, or to be around people in an enclosed space.

People started filing out the door. I noticed that every one of them was wearing a mask! Farmer H says he's only seen a couple of people wearing a mask in Casey's. Maybe the early birds catching the worm don't want it covering their beaks. As I wishy-washed over wearing in a mask, an old lady walked in front of T-Hoe. She was wearing the blue disposable version.

Okay. Outnumbered, I strapped on my backup mask, the Blues hockey pattern. My main mask, the Kansas City Chiefs version, was hanging in the laundry room, drying. There was one man at the counter as I entered. He was not wearing a mask. The two clerks were. And here came the white-haired little lady up the aisle.

"You can go ahead," I told her. She was obviously on her way to check out, though she was not carrying any merchandise. I think she had been to the restroom in the time it took me to hobble inside.

Gray Hair shook her head. "No. You go on."

"I'm not in a hurry. It's your turn."

"No. Go ahead."

So I got in line (6 feet back). It was hard for either of us to determine the other's motive, what with our muzzles strapped to our faces. Were we simply nice? Or were we passive-aggressively trying to become the bigger martyr?

Anyhoo... I balanced my top leg bones over my bottom leg bones, and settled in for a wait. There seemed to be an impasse of sorts. The 30-something man was gesturing, but no merchandise was on the counter. A Boy Clerk was assisted a Girl Clerk, who seemed to be new. They would speak to each other, and then address No-Mask. He didn't reply, but showed them something on his phone. Gestured some more. THEN I saw the Girl Clerk moving her hands. She was speaking SIGN LANGUAGE to No-Mask!

I don't know sign language. Both my boys had a class in it, in the room right next to mine at Newmentia. Girl Clerk was spelling things out. No-Mask would shake his head. Old Lady Clerk came over from the pizza counter, bearing a pizza in a box, and wearing a disposable mask. She's usually without a mask when she waits on me, but I hadn't been in this Casey's in a while. 

 

Old Lady Clerk set down the pizza. Conferred with Boy Clerk and Girl Clerk. Turned to No-Mask and started speaking to him. Then she realized her folly, and pulled her mask down under her chin.

No-Mask threw up his hands in the universal sign for STEP OFF, SISTAH!

Old Lady Clerk put her mask back on. Said she was sorry, motioned at his phone, and looked at Girl Clerk, who started signing. Apparently, No-Mask was crap out of luck. I assume he was ordering a pizza special with a phone app, and it hadn't gone through, or he had misunderstood the deal. He paid with plastic, and took his pizza and left.

Dang! For not being in a hurry, I was pretty tired of waiting. I leaned on the counter to rest my knees while waiting for the double-clerking act to provide my tickets (LOSERS). Don't worry. I didn't touch my face, and washed my hands as soon as I got home. Up to the elbow, with lemon-scented Bath and Body Works soap that my sister the ex-mayor's wife had given me for Christmas.

On the way out, I'd seen No-Mask sitting in the back of a car, eating his pizza. I don't know that he'd washed his hands with anything. In the front seat were his buddies, who had purchased slices of pizza, with sodas, and had been leaving as I entered.

You'd think they could've helped No-Mask with his order. Since they were buddies, and probably had lines of communication with him that the masked clerks did not.