Sunday, October 27, 2013

Where, Oh Where, Has Sweet Baby Ruth Gone?

Here in Hillmomba, we are still dealing with the untimely disappearance of Baby Ruth.

Were I a betting woman, I would put my money on those shenaniganning young whippersnappers who invade the sacred faculty inner sanctum every weekday beginning at 3:00. I have warned people for years that no good can come of that. And now look what's happened.

However...if Baby Ruth had been spirited away by the SYW, her lair would be bare. Yes, if she was eaten alive by a faction of the SYW, along with the other 7 of her octuplet sisters who lined up behind her like those precious ducks waddling to the fountain of the Peabody Hotel in downtown Memphis, there would be an open space in her glass-fronted apartment building. But that was not so.

How does a contingent of Zeros appear where once lived Baby Ruth? The SYW would not be bothered to replace their kidnap victim with decoys. A more sophisticated mind was obviously at work here. I can rule out the man who repopulate's Baby Ruth's world. He had no motive. All of her neighbors were still in residence, with multiple family members having their backs.

The best scenario I can fathom is that Baby Ruth's sisters left home one by one. Since they are identical, I must not have noticed the mass exodus of Baby Ruths off to seek their fortune. Perhaps the Zeros crept in on little nougat feet, unnoticed by Baby Ruth, to stand in line behind her, invisible due to her greater bulk.

I hunger for her return.

3 comments:

Sioux said...

Too bad Peter Falk died. Even with only one eye, he would have been able to solve the mystery.

It sounds like the chair-stealers have switched what they snag...

knancy said...

Well, I just ate an unfrozen, room temperature mini Milky Way that my sister bought a bag of when she was here visiting and left in my apartment. Apparently, she and my Mother share an addiction to chocolates. And the fondest memory of my Mother is of her reading in bed with a box of high dollar chocolates beside her while letting me get away with all kinds of things!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
The chair-stealers have quite a theft ring. No item too small. That should be their motto. They branch out to include staplers, pens, whiteboard erasers, three-hole punches, doorstops, and the lowest of the low...the tiny red scroll-ball thingy that used to be nestled between the G and the H, atop the B on my work laptop.

*****
knancy,
Chocolate. The best medicine.

I am partial to dark chocolate Milky Ways. Mmm...now it want one. But I'm not driving to town. It's not like a Milky Way is the equivalent of a 44 oz. Diet Coke.