Thursday, December 11, 2014

Can He Hear It Now?

When The Pony and I got home yesterday, we were greeted by a loud roar. Sounded like a 747 was readying for takeoff in the Mansion kitchen.

"It was doing that when I brought the stuff in. Really. I didn't do anything to it."

"You didn't prance through here and shake the kitchen floor? Bump the side? Try to get some ice, and bang on the icemaker?"

"No. Nothing. It was just doing that!"

"Call your dad."

"Dad? There's something wrong with the freezer. It's making a noise."

"THAT noise."

"What do you mean you can't hear it? Listen."

"Still? Here." The Pony opened Frig's freezer door and put his phone inside. Closed the door. "There. THAT should let him hear it."

"Get that phone out before it freezes!"

"Dad? He heard a little something that time. What should we do?"

"He says not to do anything. He'll look at it when he gets home."

Of course by the time Farmer H got home, Frig was on his best behavior. I heard it last night after Farmer H went to bed. When I went upstairs, Frig feigned innocence. But this morning, oh, THIS MORNING Frig was in full voice. Louder than even last evening. I thought I was going to need those runway flashlight-wavers' ear muffs to protect my tympanic membranes. I woke Farmer H when I got out of the shower.

"Do you hear that?"

"I don't hear anything. I've got my breather going."

"There. Hear it now?"

"No. I don't hear anything."

"Whatever."

I could not squeeze in my recliner nap. The noise was deafening. The Pony got up.

"I heard it last night. I started again when I was in bed. Not this loud."

Farmer H finally opened Frig's door to get his sausage-egg-cheese muffin. And admitted, "That DOES sound a little loud."

So you know what he did, that mechanical genius of mine? He started tap tap tapping on the ice maker inside Frig. As you might imagine, that did not work. Farmer H said it has something to do with a fan not kicking on. He'll have to take it apart. Getting a new icemaker won't help. Also, he assured us that nothign will catch on fire. The worst that can happen is that Frig shorts out, and the whole kit 'n' kaboodle of fridge and freezer would lose power.

I am just not seeing the benefits I imagined when I carefully selected Farmer H from millions of applicants who wished to share my life.


2 comments:

Sioux said...

Can you start investing in lots of life insurance on him? Because if he keeps toying with electronic things or insists on playing Johnny Depp as a barber, something is gonna happen... and THAT is when your investment will pay off.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
FRIG IS DEAD!

If only I had invested life insurance on HIM! But no. I rested assured that the only thing that would happen was that Frig would lose power.

FOREVER!

Dr. Farmer H needs to get some malpractice insurance forthwith.