Note To Taco Bell: I am onto your little scam.
Don't think you have fooled me. Even without a scientific study, I am aware that your soft tacos on Friday contain 3 TIMES the lettuce of your soft tacos during the week. Yeah. You are stuffing those soft tacos with enough lettuce for the consumer to remove it and open a salad bar in her proposed handbasket factory! I am not a vegetarian. I expect my soft taco to contain, in a ratio comparable, cheese and worm protein as well. Do not sell me a soft taco full of shredded lettuce, a caulk bead of worm protein the size of a string of dental floss, and three tired squiggles of cheese.
That would explain why your line moves so much faster on Friday, I suppose. Doesn't take much time to upend the shredded lettuce bag over the tortilla.
There oughta be a law. Like the one preventing me from coming in your drive-thru window and giving you a stern talking-to.
2 comments:
Have The Pony drive, you sit in the passenger seat, and choose a time when there are no drive-through customers around.
Have The Pony drive the wrong way through the drive-through, and you can moon them. (Make sure The Pony has his equine blinders on--literally.) THAT will teach them to give you a small bead of worm protein and a tired squiggle of cheese.
P.S. Have you thought of applying to be a copywriter? You have a true gift for it.
Sioux,
That's a harsh punishment, Madam. I fear that a security camera might make my identity known, after pictures of my ample buttocks circulate the innernets.
Copywriter, you say? Like, to promote Taco Bell items in print ads and on their light-up drive-thru menu? I'm sure they would snap me up like a dog hoovering ham off the kitchen floor. But alas, I am already gainfully employed in my true love: practicing my standup routine six times a day on a captive audience.
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