Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Giveth, But She Truly Relishes Taking Away

Once again, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom finds it necessary to pull the plug. Shut it down. Nip it in the bud. Put the kibosh on shenanigans surrounding her large economy size bottle of Germ-X, free for the taking for hygienically challenged pupils.

Yes, as hard as it may be for laymen to comprehend...the Germ-X culture has a dark side. A seamy underbelly exists in the clean hands club. Every year, a fly in the ointment rears its ugly head where Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's FREE Germ-X and Puffs With Lotion reside. The youth of Newmentia look that gift horse in the mouth.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom provides her Puffs and Germ-X so those pupils with runny noses may assuage their symptoms and cleanse their hands. These products are not intended to be a body-wash station. Just as Mrs. HM would not set out antibiotics for all to take, regardless of bacterial infection, viral infection, or nonexistent infection, neither does she put out Puffs and Germ-X so that every student can stop by and partake every day. But that's almost what happens.

There is usually one class who takes advantage of the system. Once class with five to eight shenaniganners who constantly visit the Germ-X each and every day. Sometimes making multiple trips per class period. Always taking too much. Dripping it, slinging it, sniffing it, flipping it...just generally wreaking havoc during the four-minute class-passing time while Mrs. Hillbilly Mom stands in the hall and observes their antics form the doorway.

So I take it away. Too bad, so sad. You must be unclean for a few weeks until I think you have matured. See what it's like to do without. None of my teachers ever supplied this stuff for us in school. Got a cold? Bring tissues from home. When they get snotty from constant wiping, lay them across your book to dry out so they can be reused later in the day. Today's teachers are more empathetic, I suppose, in these days of I'm OK, You're OK, Everybody's a Winner, Here's Your Trophy. Today's teachers set out rolls of school toilet paper so kids don't have to let their nostrils drip. But not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. She goes all out with the Germ-X and Puffs With Lotion. All out of her own pocket. Even though one or two kids will whine that the tissues have lotion, and can't be used for cleaning their glasses. Hmpf! Use your shirttail like Mrs. HM does for her own glasses! How about that?

This year there are two sections of Germ-X abusers. One group comes in after lunch and heads straight for the Germ-X. "Why do you always need Germ-X? It's right after lunch. So obviously, you ate with those hands, but they're too dirty to sit at your desk and write on a paper?"

"It's lunch! We get our hands dirty eating lunch!"

"Then why don't you wash them when you leave the cafeteria without permission to go to the bathroom? Don't think I can't hear you all talking in there. The bathroom is right next door."

"There are no paper towels!"

"That's because you stuff them in the sink and run it full of water. There are air-dry machines for your hands."

"They make too much noise. Have you heard them?"

"YES! My room is right next door!"

"We need the Germ-X."

"You don't need a cup of it for each person. I'm taking it away."

"Noooooo!"

Then the other class. The youngsters. No explanations deserved here. They are playing around like toddlers in a puddle. I gave one warning. Then I took it. No discussion.

"Hey! Where's the Germ-X?"

"I told you I was putting it up. You are not responsible enough to use it."

Of course one decided that he now needed three Puffs to take to his desk. To blow his mouth. Yes. His mouth. Like you make that fake nose-blowing sound. I did not take the bait. I can always take the Puffs, too, if this behavior occurs again.

Near the end of class, a student came back to my desk.

"Can I have some Germ-X?"

"No."

"Not even for this?" He pointed to a rashy-looking area on his inner forearm."

"No. That looks like Germ-X would not be good for it."

"But I need to clean it."

"Then do it between classes in the bathroom."

"Can't I go now?"

"If you want to give up your participation points."

"That's not fair."

"Life's not fair."

After each of these classes leave, I put the Germ-X back for public consumption.
Fair is fair.