Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Imagines Herself A 5X

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is quite embarrassed this evening, having committed a lottery faux pas.

My luck has been good lately, evening out that terrible run I had about three weeks ago, when only 3 tickets in 32 were winners. Those weren't all in one day, or one week, of course. And included those I give to the boys. The odds of winning on the tickets I buy are at worst 1 in 4. So Even Steven was toying with me back then.

Now, though, the dark basement lair of Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is flowing with scratch-off milk and honey. Today I took back a few winners to cash in. I had a stack of 7 that I'd been saving until I felt lucky. I took four into Casey's when I bought gas, and traded them for more tickets. Of the winners left in T-Hoe, I wanted to cash in one at the gas station chicken store's competitor, Orb K.

I picked up that winner specifically. Only a couple stores still carry it. It's an older game, with a chance to scratch off 20 times rather than 15. I knew I had a $25 winner, and planned to get more tickets with it. I got my 44 oz Diet Coke (which seems to me like only 40 oz here) and handed the clerk my winner. She scanned it and said, "That's five dollars."

"Twenty-five dollars?"

"No. Five."

"Uh uh. Could I see that ticket?"

The clerk acted a little bit annoyed. Maybe this is a scam that high-rolling scratchers run. Or maybe she took it as an affront that I didn't believe her.

I looked at that ticket. Whoopsie! It was a $5 winner. The one I had THOUGHT it was had a 5X symbol where I scratched the winner.

"Oh. Sorry. I thought I brought in the other one that was twenty-five."

Seriously. It's an honest mistake, right? Anybody could do that. I wasn't accusing that clerk of scamming me. I thought somehow she'd read that amount wrong after the ticket-checker device scanned the bar code.

I think my face is still red. But that could be from the 101-degree heat index, after sitting on the front porch pew with Puppy Jack and Sweet, Sweet Juno. At least they think I'm a winner.

Oh, yeah. I won $50 today.

5 comments:

Sioux said...

HM--You are amazingly lucky.

Sometimes you win,
Sometimes you lose.
Sometimes the blues get a hold of you...
Aw, just when you think you have made it.

(I think that;s how the 4th line goes, but I am SURE about the first three.) What's the song? You get a bonus if you get it, 'cause it wasn't a blazing hit on the radio. (I'll pop for an elevator ride at the next AWN conference.)

fishducky said...

Easy come, easy go!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I don't know! I don't know that song, Madam! But I'm guessing it was something from one of your former boyfriends, James Taylor or Cat Stevens. Looks like I'll have to pay for my own elevator ride. :(

I might have guessed it if you'd had something like:

We may lose, and we may win,
But we will never be here again...

***
fishducky,
I know that one!

Sioux said...

Take it easy. You don't always have to fly like the Eagles when it comes to Seinfeld and song trivia.

No, it wasn't Cat Stevens or James Taylor, but it was a friend of Taylor's--Carole King. "Sweet Seasons," which made it on the airwaves but not as heavily as her other hits.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I actually thought of Carole King, but I had no idea what the song was. I also thought of your nemesis, Carly Simon...