Monday, September 12, 2016

What We Have Here Is Grand Theft Mojo

I don't know if it's been mentioned here before, but Mrs. Hillbilly Mom occasionally, once in a blue moon, you know, enjoys trying her luck on a scratch-off lottery ticket. Or two. She usually fares well. One day last week, she had a $100 winner AND a $25 winner AND a $40 winner. Some might consider her a lucky duck, what with being able to play on a regular basis, and maintain an almost even balance in output and income. A Hillmomban Even Stevonica, perhaps.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is in a slump.

Can you believe it? I lost my mojo! That stands for MOm JOy. There is no joy in Hillmomba. Mrs. HM hasn't lucked out. My last two purchases were losers! I think I know why.

Farmer H left Friday for Oklahoma to see a Sooners game. Oh, and The Pony. He took his oldest son, HOS, along with him. Imagine my surprise when Farmer H called me Saturday morning on the Mansion phone. Okay. That was not actually a surprise, because he calls at the worst times, almost like he can see through the phone wires. I had just sat down and cranked back the La-Z-Boy, with Shiba propped on a pillow on my lap, and was logging onto the innernets for a morning perusal when that phone rang. On weekdays, I always bring that phone over to the side table, because many scam calls come in, and I can see them and not answer. But on Saturdays, I'm not expecting that in the morning. Farmer H never calls when he's on a trip, unless it's in the evening. Which this was not. So I had to dump that pillow and Shiba on the floor, and hoof it over to grab the phone off the cabinet holding the ruby red depression glass dish set that my grandma gave me, because I no longer have The Pony to trot to the phone and haul it to me.

"I just thought you might like to know, I took HOS to show him the casino this morning. He put $5.00 in a nickel machine, and won $97.00."

Yeah. I really wanted to know that. I'm happy for HOS. He helps out around here a lot. Usually, when we're gone, he feeds the animals for three days. I had mentioned right before Farmer H left, "I bet HOS is going to miss that money we give him to take care of things while we're gone." HOS would never ask for money. Even refused it the first trip we made. But I insisted. I don't expect people to disrupt their schedule for free. And gas is expensive. Sooo...looks like HOS won't miss that money from this trip at all.

Meanwhile. Mrs. HM has lost her mojo. Seems it has attached itself to another member of the Hillbilly family. I hesitate, though, to call it HOJO.


Sioux said...

HOJO's... the local no-tell motel that's not around anymore. (At least they left North County.)

I am sure you'll recapture your MOJO tomorrow or soon thereafter. Me? If I played the lottery, I'd get nothing but a colorful cards to recycle...

Hillbilly Mom said...

You and the #1 son both! He never wins on the tickets I send him. Except that one time, when we went down to take him and a friend out to lunch for his birthday, and he won $50 on the ticket I handed him.

I told him that luck must skip a generation. My grandma couldn't lose at bingo!