Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The Green-Eyed Monster Is Alive In Hillmomba

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is getting fed up with her fleabags! They are SO jealous of each other, it hardly pays (okay, there's no money in it, let's make that clear) to give them each a treat.

Sweet Gummi Mary! It's like my sister the ex-mayor's wife competing with me for the biggest slice of cake. Not that we had much cake around our house. But when we DID, such an uproar arose that one of us was given the knife (to slice the cake with, people, not for a weapon) and the other was given first pick. I'm pretty sure our mom was hep to King Solomon's ways, but cutting a cake in half would have made too much sense.

Today when I got back from town, Juno got to the side porch first to greet me. She's been staying in her house lately, not even coming out when I drive up, and when she does, she turns up her nose at the cat kibble! I think she has an attitude. That is not very sweet, sweet of her! I hugged her first (fair is fair) while Jack squirmed his way under her, looking downcast. Then it was his turn, and Juno tried to block his hug.

I reached up into the roaster pan of cat kibble for a big handful, and put a lot in front of Juno, and a little in front of Jack. She needs more calories, you know. She's a bigger dog. I give hers first, because she can intimidate him away from hers, and if I give Jack the food first, she takes his.

I'll be ding dang donged if Juno didn't sniff her large pile of cat kibble and go directly to Jack's smaller pile and start eating. Oh, don't you feel sorry for Jack! He was already on his way to Juno's pile before she could root her way into his.

I give up! Serves them right! Juno can get a smaller treat for being jealous of Jack's portion, and Jack can bloat himself for going after Juno's food.

Here they are on the front porch this evening:

Yeah. They're still running around like ferrets on crack when I try to get a picture. That spot on the porch is not a pee stain, but a greasy mark left from last week when the evening treat was a freezer-burned pork steak for each mutt, and Jack pulled his off of his paper plate. So did Juno, but she took hers to the yard while looking over her shoulder suspiciously. Tonight they had a couple of Super Bowl mozzarella sticks microwaved to unfrozenness. As you can see, Juno is inspecting Jack's area, just in case he got more while she was eating hers.

We'd best not talk about the fact that each of them had an egg in their mouth out in the yard when I walked out the door with their treat.


Sioux said...

Oh! That post was terrifying. Jack's head is so large and so looming. It was as if he could slip out his doggy tongue and slurp me on the face with it.

Get back, Jack!

Hillbilly Mom said...

And his eyes reflect GREEN! A happy accident to go with the title, which I didn't notice until I looked at the preview.

Face? He goes only for the mouth. Got me again today on the side porch!