Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Farmer H, The Smashing Conversationalist

Sunday evening, I ascended from my dark basement lair to make supper for Farmer H. I'd asked him the day before if he wanted chili dogs or a terrible tater for supper Sunday night. Being Farmer H, he said he liked both, and it didn't matter to him. So I said we'd have the terrible tater. Which is a big baked potato piled with (in Farmer H's case) butter, sour cream, BBQ pulled pork, and shredded cheddar, with dill pickle spears on the side.

Yes, I know you've all told me to stop giving Farmer H choices. I have not heeded your advice. It comes back to bite me in the butt every time.

Anyhoo...I came up to make supper, and confirmed the items that Farmer H likes on his tater.

"You said we were having chili dogs."

"No...I gave you a choice, and you said you didn't care which one. I need to use up the sour cream before it expires, and the potatoes before they grow eyes."

"Oh. Okay. I don't care."

"No. I haven't started. I'll make the chili dogs."

"No. It's fine."

While the big taters were in the microwave, I sat down on the short couch for further brain trust conversations with Farmer H.

"I got some hamburger today to make you spaghetti. And some garlic toast. I can make you a chicken bowl with the hamburger that's left. You know. In place of the chicken. Like the ones I get at Hardee's. With rice, refried beans, cheese, sour cream, and salsa."

"That would be good. But I'm going to the auction Tuesday, probably." {He said he was going last Tuesday, then didn't.] "Did you see them taters I brought you?" [red-skin potatoes that he got in Iowa from his pal]

"Yes. I thought of microwaving them and melting Velveeta on them, like when we have the broccoli/cauliflower."

"My pal in Iowa gave them to me. He made us mashed potatoes. His wife has that disease that makes you tired all the time. And weak."

"Oh. You mean...uh...Guillain-Barre Syndrome?

"No. That's not it."

"MS?"

"No. Not that."

"Uhh...Lou Gehrig's Disease?"

"Yeah. That might be it. Anyway, my pal left the skins on and put butter and milk in them."

"Did he use a mixer?"

"No. He used a masher. He called them Smashed Potatoes."

"I have a smasher. I've done that before, and none of you liked them. You wanted them all whipped and smooth, like they might as well have been instant."

"Well, these were good."

"I can make them like that. But surely you don't want them tonight with the terrible tater."

"No."

"And they don't go with spaghetti."

"No."

"I had originally thought of making a meat loaf, and having those potatoes on the side. But then you wanted the spaghetti instead of the meat loaf."

"Meat loaf is fine."

"Okay. Monday night, we'll have meat loaf and smashed potatoes."

"That sounds good."

Well. Monday night, Farmer H went to a surprise auction with a Storage Unit Store buddy. He told me right before I took the hamburger out of FRIG II to put the meat loaf together. So now it's planned for Tuesday night.

Just wait. When I take it out of the oven, Farmer H will probably say, "I thought you were making spaghetti."

7 comments:

River said...

Against all advice, you jumped right back in with both feet didn't you? Ha Ha.
Anyway, about the mashed potatoes. Or smashed potatoes which are a different thing entirely in our house.
For good mashed potatoes, it's important that potatoes are NOT stored in the frudge. ("frudge? look at that, I'm a New Zealander now..ha ha)
okay, NOT in the fridge. The cold temperature crystallises the starch molecules so they don't cook to fluff properly.
Cut them small enough to cook without waiting until midnight for dinner to be ready, boil them steadily until they are very soft when tested with a skewer. VERY soft, almost breaking apart. Drain them, add a small knob of butter, (real butter, not that margarine rubbish) and a small splash of milk. Add a tiny bit extra milk if the mix is too dry.
Practice makes perfect.
In our house "Smashed" potato is a baked potato, cut in half, smashed slightly with a masher, (just press it down until the potato breaks up a bit)spread with melted butter (and cheese maybe) then baked again until golden brown.

River said...

Wait, wait! That's a boiled potato, cut in half, not a baked one and the butter should be garlic butter and halfway through crisping is when you add the parmesan cheese.. I got out the recipe and checked (*~*)

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I just can't help myself! I usually boil the potatoes, but I was taking a shortcut, and doing it the way Farmer H carried on about. He wanted them the way his pal made them in Iowa. I never put potatoes in FRIG II, unless it's to preserve those already cooked.

River 2,
Right before I cooked them, I switched channels on TV, and it was Tricia Yearwood's show, with her making those exact potatoes!

There's a picture of my smashed ones coming up next post. Already made before I saw any of your tips.

River said...

Trisha Yearwood has a show? Who knew? My daughter has a cookbook of hers I think, also one by Faith Hill. K is a fan of Southern Cooking styles.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
It's called Trisha's Southern Kitchen. On the Food Network. It's been on at least five years. I like the older episodes, when she still lived in Oklahoma, not Nashville. Especially when she had her college friends come visit, or her sister Beth and Beth's college-aged kids. They were always cutting up (GET IT?) in the kitchen, making me laugh.

Trisha is no gourmet cook, but it's stuff I'd make, if I wasn't so lazy.

Anonymous said...

I love potatoes that are mashed, smashed, fried, boiled, baked and/or in casseroles!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
Me too, and when I was a kid, I enjoyed the crisp crunch of a raw one! Peeled, of course. I'm not an animal.