Thursday, July 5, 2018

I Hear That Train A-Comin'

Poor ol' Farmer H can't get off the bashin' train.

Yesterday, he grilled pork steaks and sausages for the two of us, as he had planned. He made enough to last us 3 or 4 days. For my part, I got some potato salad and SLAW from The Devil's Playground. Not gonna lie...I wasn't going all out for this one.

I told Farmer H to go ahead and fill his plate, while I went to the bathroom. He was planning to leave to see some fireworks, and I knew I wanted to put up the leftovers before getting my own plate ready. Imagine my surprise when I walked back through the living room, and Farmer H was missing from the La-Z-Boy. There he was, sitting at the kitchen table! It's not like he'd cleared it off for me to join him. He'd just shoved the soda and bottled water over to my side, to make room for himself. No big deal. I wasn't planning a formal meal.

Even though Farmer H does not put away leftovers when I cook, I do take care of the extra food when HE cooks. As I got out the old-style Tupperware rectangular container with the blue lid, Farmer H spoke up to mark his territory.

"I'll probably have another sausage."

"Okay. I'll leave one out. Which kind do you like, the regular, or the charred ones?" I was pretty sure not the charred ones, because those are my preference, and he usually makes a couple of them just for me.


I left one sausage on the foil-covered pizza pan he'd used as a tray to bring in the meat, and put the rest in beside the two leftover pork steaks in the Tupperware. I let that container sit, without the lid, right next to the tray, until I filled my plate. Just so the meat could cool down a bit before I stashed it in FRIG II.

While I was still getting my slaw, here came Farmer H to the counter. He grabbed his bun and sausage (heh, heh) and went back to the table. I turned to get some potato salad.

"Those big containers of slaw expired on July 5th! So I got two of the small ones. They're good until July 25th. I can't believe you're not having slaw! But it looks like I should have gotten two of the potato salads!"

"That's okay. I got all I wanted."

Indeed he did! That potato salad container was half empty! So much for having a few more meals from this bounty.

I turned to put the lid on the Tupperware leftovers, and saw a single sausage laying on the foiled tray.

"I thought you were getting another sausage."

"I did."

"From where?"

"From the container."

"Oh. That explains why the one I left out for you is still laying there."

"It doesn't matter."

"No. But that's why I asked which one you liked. Because I was setting it aside, and not putting it away. Looks like you took the charred one."

"Here. I didn't eat it yet. I'll put it back." ["Thanks Mr. Grant," says Veal Prince Orloff at Mary Richards' dinner party.] He put that sausage back in the container, and took the one I left out. "They look about the same to me."

"Except now you have all the sauce from this one on your bun."

Yeah, I think Farmer H has a long distance ticket on that bashin' train. One way.


River said...

If you could see my clenched fists and face in a Grrr grimace, you'd know how I feel about Farmer H right now. I'm sure he is doing this on purpose as part of a master plan, if only we could figure out what that plan might be, so we can work out a counterattack.
Is he related to Pa Kettle of Ma & Pa Kettle fame?

Sioux Roslawski said...

You expect the bashing to stop? What, you expect a Christmas miracle in July?

(And the man in black. I see he made an appearance.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

I appreciate the commiseration. Some days I have to make a mental plus/minus column to keep from tossing in the towel. A counterattack is always a good move. Planning one gives me focus.

I love Ma and Pa Kettle! Haven't watched one of their movies in years. I don't think Farmer H has that quaint charm...

I live on hope. You know me, ever the Pollyanna, seeing good in everyone and everything...

The Man in Black is lucky that I grabbed his elbow when he stumbled, or he would have fallen into a burning ring of fire!