Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Farmer H's Misery Loves Company

Well. It is clearly obvious now that I should have invested in those doctory face mask thingies. And maybe some Michael J gloves, too. For both hands.

Perhaps you remember how CasinoPalooza 4 was hazardous to my health. I really thought I was over it! After nine days of sickness, from chest up to sinuses, I felt pretty perky on Friday. The only remains of the virus were a phlegmy occasional cough, and some hoarseness. To the extent that when my favorite gambling aunt called me on Saturday, she asked, "Are you sick?" Also, my car-singing voice was not up to par. About the only thing that sounded right was "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." Bret Michaels and I nailed that sad, sad song part.

Farmer H tried to get into sick bay on Thursday. "I'm sick! You gave it to me! I feel terrible."

"Seriously? This is the 8th day of my virus! I'm OVER it! I don't know how you think you got it from me, EIGHT DAYS LATER! I am not contagious. You have something else!"

"Huh. I don't think so."

Farmer H has been fairly pitiful. Then again, he treats a hangnail like a limb amputation. He IS very congested. So much that I refused to go near him, and turned my head away when he stalked me as usual.

"Get back over there. I'm not breathing your diseased air!"

"Listen to you! YOU gave it to ME!"

"I don't think so. If I did, at least I won't catch it right back. I'll be immune for a couple weeks."

You know what happened, right? On Monday morning, I was felled by Farmer H's bug. It's terrible! And so unfair! I just got over a sickness! Now I've got another nine days of sub-par health. Farmer H called me Monday morning.

"You up yet?"

"No. I wasn't. I feel like crap. But I'm up now, so your little plan worked."

"That's why I sent you a text. To see if you were up. So I didn't call and wake you."

"That's why I didn't answer the text. I wasn't up. But I'm up NOW! What time is it?"

"10:45."

"WHAT? Why didn't you call me earlier!"

Yeah. This sickness is making me lag. At least Farmer H now has to take the blame, and relinquish his claim that I'm the one who made HIM sick!

I'm pretty sure I'm a victim of Breather Syndrome. I have totally avoided Farmer H, except for the three hours that our sleeping schedule has overlapped. That's the only method of transmission I can think of. I wash my hands after touching the remote and FRIG II's handle, turning off the water with the back of my wrist on the lever handle.

As I type this, it's time to go up and make supper for Farmer H. I'm sure he is eagerly awaiting my sunshiny self.

2 comments:

River said...

Don't you hate it when things just go round and round like that? It's like conjunctivitis or impetigo going through a school, by the time the last kid gets it the first is ready to start again. Although I haven't seen a case of either one in quite a while. A long while. Decades. I've begun travelling on the bus with a hanky held to my nose now that autumn is properly here and flu season is beginning. A mask doesn't sit tightly enough, air escapes and fogs my glasses, so I have to hold a hanky, which means no reading on the bus for the next six months. so I'll nap instead.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Yeah. I had a fever for three days. Didn't do anything to stop it. Sometimes that's how you fight it off. I feel much better today, on the fourth day of my latest disease. I think I'm getting over it faster than Farmer H, so there's that sweet justice...

Hope you can dodge disease with your hanky!