Warts And All

Farmer H likes to send me pictures from the auction. Treasures that he buys, and can't wait until he gets home to show me. As you might imagine, I'm okay with waiting. In fact, I'm okay with not even knowing what he bought. The money comes out of his weekly cash allowance, or out of his Storage Unit Store bankroll. It's not a concern of mine what he does or doesn't buy.

After a year of operating his Storage Unit Store, Farmer H has developed regulars. He caters to them by looking for stuff they want at the auctions he attends 3-4 times per week. For example, one lady collects elephants. So Farmer H is always on the lookout for elephants. Any style, any size, any medium. He knows she'll buy it. The only thing with elephants is the trunk. "The trunk has to be pointed UP. Nobody will buy it with the trunk down. That's bad luck."

Monday night, Farmer H sent me this picture:

"Frog I bought. $7.00."

That is the most hideous thing I have ever seen. Except maybe for some of those wooden masks that Farmer H has bought at the auction. I figured maybe he has a regular who collects frogs.

When I went to the garage Tuesday, on the way to get my magical elixir, I saw that hideous frog crouched on the side porch. Juno gave it a wide berth, even though that's the area where I feed her a cat kibble treat. It's even uglier in person. AND I noticed that part of it was BROKEN!

"Why did you spend $7.00 on a broken frog?"

"I didn't know it was broken. I thought it was part of the base, like a rock that he was sitting on. So did the lady behind me who was bidding on it. Won't matter anyway. I'm putting it down in the rocks beside the fake fish pond."

SWEET GUMMI MARY!

If we were only beside the road, we'd be a roadside attraction by now.