Somebody Got Extra Mashed At The Annual Dinner

Farmer H and I might make it a habit to attend the annual membership dinner of our credit union. The main lure is the 1% increase in interest we can get on a certificate of deposit. Then there's the free stuff (got two umbrellas and two pens), and the prize drawings. And let's not forget the food!

The dinner was catered, and served buffet style. Sis had told us to get there early for a good table. Meaning a table where you could be on the outside edge, and not ram your chair into the person at the table behind you. They crammed a lot of tables into that event center. Over 90 members were in attendance. Basically, we had a choice of left side or right side. We took the left. And the table at the very front, by the food, or at the very back, by the sound system. We took the back. As Sis said, "When you sit up front, the people in line for the food are always banging into your back."

Well. We found out that didn't really matter. We were very lucky to be the first set of tables chosen to go forward to the buffet-style catered food. When we returned to our table with our plate, we saw that a line wound all the way up the side of the room, and across the back of our seats. Still, as Sis pointed out, "Pretty soon, the line will be past us, but it will still be going across the front at the buffet."

I didn't avoid getting jabbed in the back anyway. While I was in line down the center of the room, the guy behind me jabbed me with his baby's feet. A baby's feet can be more jabby than you might expect. I didn't say anything, because it was a baby. But you'd think people would be more careful with how they move about a crowded area with their baby out front of them like a cow-catcher on a train.

The food was actually quite tasty. We had roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, chicken fettuccine alfredo, mostaccioli, rolls, salad, apple or peach pie, chocolate or vanilla cake. The only item I did not care for (but ate it anyway) was the chicken fettuccine alfredo. It was bland, without any discernible taste, and the chicken in it looked like the little tiny cubes you get in chicken noodle soup. Oh, and the noodles were a spiral kind, not a flat noodle.

I was the last from our table to arrive at the buffet. Sis was first, then Farmer H, then the Ex-Mayor. He kindly motioned me ahead, though. I guess so I could be next to Farmer H. Maybe he thought I might have to fill his plate or something. Anyhoo... we had just started down the table when there was a catastrophe.

I noticed a choice of two kinds of plates. The Chinet kind of sturdy paper plate with a coating to prevent seepage. And a foam plate with three sections, like one for the main course, and two for sides. Well. Nobody was tricking ME into getting a foam plate! I know that there's more room on a regular plate, because you don't have those divider ridges in the way. So I took the sturdy paper plate. So did Farmer H. We know how to get our money's worth at a free dinner.

Sis, however, has separation issues. She does not like her food touching. She took a foam plate. I wouldn't have noticed, except she was just on the other side of Farmer H, getting her mashed potatoes while he was still at the roast beef trough.

WHOOPSIE!

Sis's plate collapsed! She only had roast beef on it at that point. She was holding her foam plate under the two side-dish sections, using an ice cream scoop with that thumb thingy to dig out a serving of mashed potatoes. The roast beef on the main course section of her foam plate slopped over into the trough of mashed potatoes! I swear, you can't take Sis anywhere!

"Oh, no! What am I going to do? I have to get this roast beef and gravy out of the mashed potatoes!"

So... our side of the line stalled, while Sis scooped and dipped three lumps of mashed potatoes onto her plate. Now holding it across her forearm so all sections were supported.

When we got back to the table, Sis said, "I really like mashed potatoes, but I didn't want so many of them! I just had to clean my roast beef out of the pan."

She ate about 1.5 scoops of the mashed potatoes, and left the rest on her plate.

It wouldn't have bothered me at all to come upon a trough of mashed potatoes that had some roast beef and gravy laying on top. But then again, I don't have separation issues.