Time to panic! Sound that alarm from a submarine that is taking on water! Flash the lights for the hard-of-hearing! Hide! Hide! Hide! Do NOT open the door!
Farmer H called while I was in the shower Friday. My assistant, The Pony, took the call. Good thing I saw the message light flashing on the house phone.
"Pony. Did the phone ring while I was in the shower?"
"Oh, yeah. One of those 636 numbers that didn't leave a message. And Dad called. He said there's a guy up in here knocking on doors. He says he's selling magazines, and then he jams his foot in. So don't answer the door. And when we go to town, make sure all the doors are locked."
"Huh. Good to know. NOBODY is supposed to be up in here. The last time anybody came to our door selling things, you were just a baby. Genius wasn't in school yet. It was a guy selling books. He had Genius hooked on some kids' encyclopedia. I didn't buy them. I went out on the porch with you and Genius, and told that guy he had no business up in here SOLICITING, because we had signs down by the creek. He said he had a friend up in here who said it was okay. Yeah, right. I thought he was never going to leave. I finally grabbed Genius by the wrist, and came back in the house, and locked the door, with that guy standing on the front steps."
When Farmer H came home, he filled in more of the story.
"I got a notice on our Facebook out here. It said a guy was knocking on doors, and when you open it, he sticks his foot in, and pushes on the door like he's coming in. The lady up the first road put it on there. Said, 'He was just here, and the police are on their way.' 11 other comments said they saw him. One was the lady up past us, by Buddy's old house. She said, 'He knocked on my door, but I didn't open it. He's finally leaving. I called the police.' So if he was up there, I guarantee you he stopped by here."
"Well. I was in the shower. We always have the door locked. The Pony was in his bedroom. People think the doorbell works. But it still doesn't."
"I bet he was here."
"I'm pretty sure the dogs would have been a good deterrent. Especially Copper Jack."
"Yeah. My buddy that came out here... he loves dogs. He says, 'The little one runs at me barking, but I'm afraid of that big one.'"
"Copper Jack scares ME! It's the tone of his bark. You can't be sure what he might do."
"Well, good. Maybe he'll keep them away."
"Was he on foot? Or in a car?"
"They said he's in a dark gray Ford Fusion. They think somebody's with him."
"They do that, you know. As an excuse. Come to the door, and say they're selling something, when that's just a cover in case someone is home. And they'll look inside, and judge how frail you are, and decide if to come back and rob you!"
"Yeah. Several others put on here that they saw him. Or they saw that car."
"I hope the police came out and picked him up! Or at least told him to get his trespassing butt out of here!"
You can bet I'm going to watch for a dark gray Ford Fusion down by the Creach.
8 comments:
Be Careful!! I had a strange occurrence here just this morning that I will post later. I do not care for the new Blogger! Has me all in a tither. You know how old folks hate changes!
Kathy,
I especially didn't like the foot-in-the-door, shoving-door-open behavior. That's a ne'er-do-well tactic.
I keep going back to classic blogger. I need to learn the new one before I run out of chances. I hate change with the heat of 10,000 suns, and the achy joints of 10,000 old people!
I'd be watching for a dark grey Ford Fusion from every window in the house as well! Even though I have a security mesh screen door where I can see out but people can't see in and it is always locked, so I can have the front door open for fresh air. Don't you have screened doors?
River,
We do not have screen doors. Our doors are metal. The kitchen door and laundry room door have glass on the top half. There are blinds on the kitchen door, but not the laundry room. Although there's another door from the laundry room to the kitchen, so nobody can see anything besides my pile of clean clothes I never seem to put away.
The front door is solid, with the little side windows of wavy glass. I can see a figure outside, but not details. I told Farmer H I should walk to the front door if someone knocks, and pick up the BB gun we used when the Killer Poodle and Crazy Rottweiler used to chase Juno up on the porch. "I'll pull the lever back, and they'll hear it cock. They won't know what kind of gun I have!"
Farmer H said they would. HE would know. I'm not sure a run-of-the-mill house-robber would know. Farmer H wants to put a shotgun there. I forbade it.
We rarely have fresh air, because fresh air brings in SO MUCH DUST from the gravel road.
Has Blogger changed? Have I not noticed it? Will I be shut out if I don't learn the new version?
I cannot worry about someone trying to break into your house so they can case the joint. I have to devote all my worrylines to the tempest in the teapot that you and Kathy set in motion...
Sioux,
Hasn't yours been opening the dashboard with a message about the new Blogger interface happening in July? Or sometimes being changed so you have to go back to the old version? Maybe you're already using it? Surely not. You'd be pulling your hair out.
You NEED to worry about me adapting to new Blogger!
You need to have a peephole inserted in your front door so you can look out before opening it. There's one in my front door here, but it was put in by the previous tenant so it's too high for me. I may get another one put in about 4 inches lower. Not that I need it, I don't open the door after dark unless I am expecting someone and that is rare.
River,
Farmer H could put in a peephole, but I probably wouldn't use it. I don't like to be just a few inches of hollow metal door away from a stranger.
It could be PTSD from my college days, when our apartment had a peephole, but its guts were gone, so it was just an open tube! The person could see your eyeball looking at them! We had to keep tape over the hole on our side, so people walking though the building couldn't watch us in our living room, through the peephole! Because, you know, we were so peep-worthy!
Post a Comment