Trying to civilize Farmer H is a full-time job. And often not successful.
As I've mentioned, Farmer H likes to take his meals to eat in his recliner, in front of the TV. That's fine with me. We don't eat on the same schedule, and I'm not missing anything by not looking at him across the table.
What I DO mind is finding the TV remote greased up like a piglet in a county fair contest. I sit down to watch TV after Farmer H goes to bed, and I'm lucky if I can hold onto the remote. Even more discouraging is the fact that I always lay out a paper towel with Farmer H's plate. Every. Single. Night.
Saturday evening, Farmer H grilled some bratwurst from Save A Lot on GassyG Jr. They are delicious. Farmer H IS a good griller. I had his plate set out on the cutting block. A blue plastic picnic-style plate he likes, because it has dividers. I had set out the bag of buns on top of his plate. And a fork. And a paper towel. He was left to his own devices to assemble his bratwursts on buns, and dish up his slaw and baked beans, while I cut up a fresh tomato he had bought from his buddy early in the week. The tomato went in a bowl. Everybody knows that the minute you start slicing a fresh tomato, its taste begins to fade. So I do it right before Farmer H takes his plate to the living room.
As I was straightening up the counter and putting away the leftovers, I noticed that Farmer H's paper towel was still lying on the cutting block.
"HEY! I put out a paper towel for you, and you couldn't even be bothered to use it! I'm tired of getting a greasy remote when I try to watch TV."
"Ah, you're crazy. I wipe my hands!"
"Not on the paper towel I laid out for you!"
"I just forgot it tonight."
"Last night the remote was terrible!"
"I wiped it off! With my paper towel, and on my shirt, and on my pants."
I think maybe Farmer H is missing the point of his paper towel. It's NOT for wiping off the remote! But for wiping his HANDS before they touch the remote!
4 comments:
You're going to have to get your own remote and keep it hidden so only you can use it. Or forever wear disposable gloves to use the greasy one.
River,
Heh, heh! Then Farmer H and I could duel with them! He'd turn up the volume, and I'd turn it down. I could switch away from those boring westerns!
When the very young man came out to connect everything to Dish, He discovered he had brought two remotes for the same TV. I offered to keep them both to relieve his consternation about what to do with the extra one. I am nice like that, so we each have our own.
Kathy,
That's a bargain to rival Farmer H at bingo! Those remotes are hard to get. The store version is not nearly as nice, not to mention easy to use, because you already know how it works. Ordering one from DISH is a chore. And not cheap.
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