Sweet Gummi Mary, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference, and the self-control not to strangle the #1 son.
I was whipping up four different suppers tonight, and I asked The Pony to fill my water cup with ice from the the left door of Frig. He did so, then handed me the heaping cup. "Wait a minute!" The Pony fished in the top layer, and extracted a particularly enticing cube, which he immediately popped into his mouth.
"Hey! I don't want your hand juice all in there."
"Oo ate." Which I took to mean, "Too late."
"Hand me some sunflower seeds to put on top of my salad."
"Ere ill I ind em?"
"In the little pantry, behind you." As he was fetching them for me, the #1 son took time out from feasting on his Blazin' Chunks buffalo chicken to inject his two cents.
"Aren't they on the counter, right in front of you?"
"No! I put things away!"
"Well, they were there a couple of weeks ago. Because I found them. I wanted a snack, so I ate some."
"I envision you sticking your tongue down in the bag, like an anteater scooping up ants."
"How did you know?"
Nothing is safe. Nothing is mine. Every item I possess is defiled with boy DNA.