Drawing The Line In The Aisle

The We're Not At School Now Girl reared her muddled head first cat out of the bag this afternoon.

"Hey! Mrs. Hillbilly Mom! I was gonna beat you up at Walmart yesterday."

"I did feel a need to call security. But I thought I could take you."

"OOH! I don't think so!"

"Hey! We're at school now!"

"Good thing for you!"

That was all before class even started. As she walked into the room. Then back out. Then back in. I'm like catnip to these crazy cats. Our school relationship was back in effect. The balance of power was in my court. We're Not At School Now Girl was back to her old jovial self. Which was quite a relief to this old gal. After taking roll, WNASNG continued to relive yesterday's chance meeting.

"I saw you on the produce aisle. That's why I went up it. To mess with you."

"And there I was with my baby! And I was even NICE to you. I backed up to let you go past that beeper-cart lady squeezing potatoes."

"That was my plan. To make you back up."

"I can't believe that's the thanks I got for being nice. You telling me, 'We're not at school now.' I felt threatened. Bro." WNASNG calls me that. Bro. She thinks it bothers me, because it bothers a man teacher that she says it to. I don't mind at all. So I toss it back at her. She cracks up. Unlike the #1 son, who forbids me to say redonkulous. I like to show that I'm hip to the kiddo lingo.

"Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, if you were a man, and you weren't so old...I would date you."

Sweet Gummi Mary's in the microwave, and all's right with the world. Except that WNASNG left out the most crucial criterion. "If you were a man, and you weren't so old, and you weren't my teacher...I would date you.

Kids. Say the darnedest things that need clarification.