Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Cow And The Chicken, However, Are Expendable

From the Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others file:

One of my classes is studying population density and population distribution. How living things compete for resources. How some show an exponential growth curve, while others exhibit logistic growth until carrying capacity is reached. Being kids, their minds wander. A mention of a specific animal brings a tale of their own experience.

"I almost ran over a turtle, but I swerved at the last minute."

"Dude, my buddy runs over them on purpose. He swerves to hit them."

"That's not very safe."

"Yeah. They'll pop your tire!"

"I almost hit a squirrel. I'm glad it ran away at the last minute."

I had to interject. "When you're driving, sometimes it's safer to keep going in the same direction, at the same speed, even if it makes you hit a squirrel. You could swerve and hit another car head-on. Or you could slam on your brakes, and get rear-ended by the car behind you. Don't worry about the squirrel. There'll be four more born to take its place."

"Way to go, Mrs. Hillbillly Mom. Why don't you just say, 'If a person is in the road, just keep going. Another one will be born to take his place.'"

"Oh, come on. You know it's not the same thing. Animals have adapted to lose some of their offspring. Mother Nature has planned ahead. They're all not going to live until they die of old age."

"Well, it shouldn't matter. You should be careful not to kill them."

Give me a break. These same kids would be the first to screech, "A ROACH! A ROACH! KILL IT!" Yeah. They're not going to encourage me to scoop up a roach on a piece of paper, and let it go out the window. Same way with spiders. And Sweet Gummi Mary forbid that they see a scorpion or snake in the building, which have been all the rage down at my end of the hall this year.

Kids. If they had their way, all the cute animals would be hobbling around on canes, gumming gruel, dragging oxygen tanks behind them, playing gin rummy in the old creature's home.


Sioux said...

I think the kids would see things differently if they were forced to see the bigger picture.

If they applied the same philosophy to people, that means the kids' parents will live long, long lives. The kids--until they're 70 or 80--will remain under their parents' thumbs.

Would they want that? Certainly not.

Just show them tonight's feature "Ghost of Parental Nagging Future" and they'll be putting the label of their mom's eye ointment on her hemmorhoid cream. They'll encourage their father to relive his glory days playing "Frogger," but with a modern twist--it will be the "live" version, with sweet ol' dad dodging vehicles. Those cherubic students will buy some Lady Gaga shoes for their mother to wear. They'll buy an industrial-sized wood chipper and tell their parents--individually--"I wouldn't take that from him/her if I were you. Have you ever seen the movie 'Fargo,' because the end is extremely clever--AND it's good for the environment."

Oh, yes. Enlighten those students. After all, that's your job...

Hillbilly Mom said...

THE HORROR! Those kids will start running down each other's parents with their souped-up jalopies! On the other hand, the increased demand for wood chippers will be good for the economy.

knancy said...

Time to take them on a field trip to a chicken processing plant. Let them see what they ae eating and then watch them become vegans for 3-5 days. Kids nowadays are so locked in an unreal environment. Thank goodness, at least, your kids can see animals in their own living area. Do they equate frozen/microwavable chicken fingers with your family chickens?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Just this afternoon, Genius wanted to butcher a chicken and make Crock Pot Orange Chicken. That's what I get for buying a fundraiser crock pot cook book. We didn't dare let The Pony hear that suggestion. Even though it would have been one of the twelve trillion extra roosters that cause trouble. Farmer H always threatens to kill one, but hasn't yet.