The Eavesdropper Speaks

With a day off from school, I braved The Devil's Playground by myself this morning. The Pony was cooling his heels on his grandma's short couch, having spent the night. I have no tales of horror to share with you today. I have them. But I'm not sharing. Here's a window into the state of Hillmomba theses days.

I was trying to get from the health and beauty section to automotive. The reason has to do with a request from the #1 son, but that's a tale for another blog. My original plan was to zoom down the aisle between the fully-stocked Christmas center and the toy department. Of course that path was blocked by a granny and grampy camped in the middle, prying a large, boxed toy from their grand-offspring's hands while telling him he would enjoy a Lego village more. Though I can speak from experience in declaring that his mother would not.

Two more aisles in the toy department proper were blocked by browsers. I don't fault them fully, because The Devil's aisles have grown more constricted over the past several years. I heaved a heavy sigh to make sure all the middle-of-the-aislers were aware of my displeasure, and turned completely around. You understand, I'm sure, how Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's legs have a finite number of steps in them. Like each puff on a nicotine stick takes minutes off a life, each unnecessary step takes a possible slot machine jackpot out of Mrs. HM's pocket on her sporadic casino visits.

Of course it goes without saying that the aisle back to health and beauty was now blocked by an elderly couple. I'm not sure of their age, only sure that they were older than me. The mister had the good sense to drop back behind his wife, letting go of the giant plastic yard candy cane he had been fingering. As I passed, I overheard a snippet of conversation from the missus. "I am so excited."

I thought she was happy about the upcoming holiday season. Giddy about early gift-buying or lay-awaying. But I was wrong. She went on. "It just made my day to hear that he got a job." Here now! Don't weep! Not even tears of joy. That little old lady was SO HAPPY. Because apparently, her son or grandson got a job.

Folks in Hillmomba don't ask for much.