Thursday, December 13, 2018

Farmer H Has Trouble With His Package

Among Farmer H's many secrets is his online junk business. He's talked about ME operating such a business for him. As you might imagine, I was a less than willing participant. What, exactly, is there in it for me? NOTHING. The 10% he proffered like a carrot on a stick for this old mule was not incentive enough. I'm not checking every day to see his bids and sales and who and where and how much. No siree, Bob!

This only came to light because Farmer H said he needed packing material. "When you get some of that bubble wrap stuff, save it for me. I need to ship a light."

"A LIGHT? Where are you shipping a light?"

"To a customer."

"I thought they had to come to you and buy it. We talked about that. If you're selling online, you need to start keeping records for tax time."

"I'm just doing this one. YOU won't sell it for me. So my buddy has an account, and I use his PayPal. That's how I get my money. Actually, HE gets my money. And gives it to me."

"That seems like he's doing an awful big favor for you unless he's getting a cut."

"I only do it every now and then. On stuff that will sell better there."

"What's so special about this light?"

"It's a pipe light. A light made out of pipes. Anyway, save me that padding stuff."

"We used to have a whole roll of bubble wrap, under the coffee table. Genius got it for something. Camera stuff he was selling."

"You had all that paper the other day, that long brown paper--"

"Which you just burned yesterday. But I'll keep stuff for you."

In fact, that very afternoon, I had more packages. I saved some large air bag thingies in green plastic, and some more of that brown butcher paper. I left it on the kitchen table for Farmer H, and I noticed the next day that it was gone. So I figured Farmer H had stuffed it in his package.

"Them people at the post office are just crazy!"

"Well, of course I agree. But what specifically did they do to you and your package?"

"I took it in there, all taped up and labeled, and the guy at the counter says, 'We can't ship that!' So I said, 'Why not? It's all ready to go.' And he said, 'We can't mail that, it's leaking! There's a spot on the side. It'll get kicked out.' So I told him, 'Buddy, it's an old box. Something in there leaked before, but I guarantee you this package isn't leaking, because there's just a light in there. Nothing to leak.'

"He said, 'Well, it won't go.' Then he asked the other lady, I guess a supervisor. She looked at it, and said, 'We could PROBABLY send it, but we shouldn't.' So I went to the UPS store, and they said, 'SURE! It's just a dirty box. We'll ship it.'"

Heh, heh. If you're a ne'er-do-well, up to no good, with a package to ship...use UPS!


River said...

Right there is where I get sneaky. If I'm reusing a box and it's a bit grubby, I'll wrap it in strong brown paper. No problem. Now that I think about it I haven't had a grubby box around here in a while. Last time I sent something I had to buy an appropriate sized box at the post office. I had the item bundled in bubblewrap and labelled the box 'fragile-do not crush or throw', then was told "we no longer offer a "fragile" service, everything gets tossed in the same bag" as he tossed it into the bag behind him at the counter. So I paid and prayed and the item arrived safely.

Hillbilly Mom said...

The post office boxes are free, here. You can go in any time and pick up what size you need from the lobby. They are FLAT RATE boxes, so you have to pay whatever that standard rate is, no matter how much it weighs when you fill it.

I think we have FRAGILE. Because sometimes they ask if it will matter if a padded envelope is folded. Maybe it's just so they can sell us insurance on the package. I glad your stuff arrived unsmashed.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Sometimes those "if it fits, it ships" boxes are a rip-off. If what you are shipping is relatively light weight, you are better off going by the weight. HeWho loves the boxes and we have quite a few he brought home in anticipation. Not that he can really think ahead, but they are free, so he brought them to me.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah. One time, they made me pay extra, because they said it didn't weigh ENOUGH! I don't know how I fell for that! It was just a couple dollars more. I think they scammed me!

I actually have a couple leaned against the wall under the kitchen window! I DO love the thought of boxes free for the taking. I figure I'll eventually use them to mail something to The Pony.