Tuesday, December 25, 2018

The Feast Of Even Steven

Our Christmas dinner this year is going to be grilled by Farmer H on Gassy G. It was his idea. Of course, he's just grilling pork steaks for us, and a sirloin for The Pony. I'll be handling the roasted carrots/potatoes/onions under bacon, the stuffing (yeah, we're not stuffing anything, it's just Stove Top, requested by The Pony), the Sister Schubert's rolls (technically, corporate Sister Schubert is handling that), and the Oreo cake.

Yes, it's a limited menu. All that we need. All that we want. The more festive Christmas dinner will be on December 30th, when Genius can join us. I was going to make Farmer H his sugar-free chocolate pudding with sugar-free Cool Whip, but he has a pie. A blackberry cobbler, specifically, made by a lady who appreciated Santa's visit with her grandchildren. No need to make Farmer H the sugar-free dessert when he alone will be consuming an entire blackberry cobbler teeming with sugar.

I stopped by my sister the ex-mayor's wife's house on Christmas Eve afternoon, to take the prizes for the evening of games she had planned. The ex-mayor was taking a ham out of the oven. It smelled spectacular! They offered me some, but I declined. I also turned down a peanut butter cookie topped with a Hershey's kiss, that fell on the floor. Not that I'm above floor cookies, mind you, but to eat one would not have been a wise choice. I was saving up for the evening meal.

As I left, Ex-Mayor gave me a baggie filled with the ham ends.
"Here. Your dogs will like this."

I had a couple stops left to make. Each time, upon returning to T-Hoe, the smell of the ham ends tempted me to make a bad choice. Who would know, really, if I ate the ham ends, rather than giving them to the dogs? The dogs would never know what they missed. Even if they smelled it on my breath, I don't think they would be tattling.

Did I eat the ham ends? Of course not! There would be Even Steven to pay! Juno and Jack enjoyed them tremendously. Not Copper Jack. He got none. He got an old hush puppy from Captain D's left from Tuesday. He turned up his nose at it!

Beggars can't be choosers, you know. But they can at least appreciate what they get. I truly appreciated Sis offering me that floor cookie, and Ex-Mayor giving me the ham ends (for the dogs!), and Farmer H volunteering to grill Christmas dinner (part of it).

5 comments:

River said...

I LOVE the smell of ham. Kudos to you for resisting. I'm currently resisting the siren call of the few remaining fruitmince pies in the kitchen.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I had a slice of that ham at Sis's Christmas Eve dinner, and it was delicious. I split my own Christmas dinner today in half, part for lunch and part for supper. Better than two full-size meals! I limited my dessert to ONE of my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel's chocolate covered cherries. But truthfully, the Oreo cake and Farmer H's blackberry cobbler didn't entice me much.

fishducky said...

It sounds like you (& the puppies) had a great Christmas dinner!!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Ham …… yum. I am almost happy that hams are too big for just the two of us. My blood pressure would be sky high. I can't stop with just one piece and end up grazing all day. We fried a small turkey. I was all set to host just 8 old people like me. A very sedate meal. I made a pan of mac and cheese, some green beans and fruit salad. Wife Kevin brought two chocolate pies and a cracker and cheese plate. His brother, Alex, is mentally challenged and is always a part of our to-do's. His other brother lives here with his wife and they roasted a turkey and brought corn and stuffing. The other couple also live here and were told to bring along a good appetite. He is our resident Santa. Then it all went to hell. My idiot husband can't keep his mouth shut and invited the couple raising the 3 young grands. They have family close by and I intended the meal to be for those of us without plans with family. They came and the kids were tired and whiny, complaining that they had already eaten and wanted to go home and play with their new toys. Literally drove me to drink. Santa Craig had given us a bottle of wine and two nice steaks for Christmas. Wine is gone and nobody helped me drink it!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
Mmm...we're having leftovers tonight (Wednesday). The dogs also enjoyed the old bread soaked in the drippings from the bacon-topped roasted vegetables. I think those fleabags are getting spoiled.

***
Kathy,
Yes, ham is not a good choice for you. I can see how the attendance of young'uns threw a monkey wrench into your feast. You have to plan ahead to cater to kiddies. My mom always made them chicken tenders in her Fry Daddy, and a pot of macaroni and cheese.

At least you got wine to compensate for their whine!