Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Alas, Hillmomba

Hillmomba is rapidly approaching the status of a third-world nation.

On my weekly trip to The Devil's Playground, I searched high and low for Entenmann's donuts. Specifically, the chocolate iced devi'ls food donuts. Can you believe The Devil was out of devil's food donuts? This has happened the last two weeks in a row. The Pony and I are beside ourselves. We have taken to buying lesser Entenmann's. The plain/cinnamon/powdered triumvirate. But the shelves were also bereft of those. Not an Entenmann's to be found. Woe was we.

And to further reinforce my fear, Save A Lot was out of baby wipes. Seriously. There are babies going unwiped in Hillmomba. It's barbaric. I use those baby wipes to clean my white board. Now it's going to be a tie-died-looking board. I asked if they had more, but the lady said they only got one box on the truck, and the next truck won't come in until Thursday. Ain't that a bite in the butt?

Casey's is always out of breadstick dough. So The Pony cannot enjoy his cheesy breadsticks on Thursday night when we get the pizza deal.

The checkout shelves of The Devil are also bare of Grandma's chocolate chip cookies. Plenty of peanut butter ones, though. Which The Pony does not like.

And the grabber machine only had three items half-buried in the black gravel at the bottom of the case.

Something's gotta give. Before you know it, we'll be shopping at outdoor markets with flies crawling all over our unrefrigerated meats. We'll be rolling hoops along a dusty road with sticks as entertainment. Ketchup will be replaced by fish sauce fermented in clay pots buried on the beach. And MP3s will be replaced with bird-beak phonographs.

It's turning into a Flintstone world.


Sioux said...

On one of your blogs, I tried to leave a comment and got a weird message. Was it this one?

You probably don't have an Aldi's in Hillbillyland, because if you did, you'd know they have the best "break and bake" chocolate chip cookies.

You should stay away from the Devil. The Devil's up to no good. (Just ask some of the small town stores that disappeared when the Devil took over...)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yes...well...you see...I'd love to ask those stores, EXCEPT THEY DISAPPEARED! Now The Devil is the only game in town. Except for Save A Lot and the Dollar Store and Dollar Tree.

We do have an Aldi's several towns down, where I go to pay my house payment and shop at Office Max and go to see The Help when it isn't showing. Hey! It finally did arrive, and I got to see it. But enough about pleasure. I used to shop at Aldi's until we got our Save A Lot. It's only five miles, and on the long way home.

I don't know about the weird message. I've been locked up in 5PAM for so long, I don't know what life is like on the outside. I can't figure out what Blogger is up to. I'm sure it's a conspiracy to track our every move and sell our information.