Sunday, February 5, 2012

Good News, Bad News. The Juno Edition.

I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Because I assume you're like my students, I'll pretend you're all a-hollerin', "Give us the BAD news first, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. Just get it over with already!" So I will comply.

Bad News-
My adolescent, rescued doggie Juno has a new annoying habit. When I get in T-Hoe and open up the garage door to back out, Juno runs off the porch, around the garage, and through the door. That's not proper canine etiquette at the Mansion.

Tank used to have the audacity to come in the front door and chow down on the pan of dry cat food. Heck, Tank used to slither through the cat door on the other garage door, and eat up all that cat food while we were at school. Farmer H just thought we had really hungry cats. They entwined his legs crying for food when he arrived home. There were bottomless feline pits. So he concluded that a possum was coming in the cat door and eating their Meow Mix. I saw Tank's beagle butt disappear through the cat door one morning as we left. So much for Farmer H's theory. Tank has always been a naughty boy, most likely due to being allowed to keep his family jewels. But at least he knows when he's in trouble, and slinks off to pout for a couple of days. He rarely makes the same mistake twice.

Thursday, my sick day, I was headed back to school to pick up The Pony from academic team practice. As I was getting ready to push the button to close the garage door, I saw Juno's tail whipping back and forth. She was at the cat pan. I put down my window and hollered at her to get out. You know that didn't happen. She turned to look at me, then went back to munching. I had to get out and chase her around the garage until she left.

Good News-
Juno pulled the uninvited guest trick again Saturday in the garage. And again, I hollered at her to get out. But here's the good news. She was ashamed! She went to the other garage door and sat down and hung her head. Which still didn't get her out of the garage.

This part Juno may not consider good news. I grabbed hold of her bright red collar (so stunning on her black wavy fur) and gave her two swats with my hand on her right haunch. All while sternly spouting, "No! Bad dog!" I dragged her to the open door and pushed her out.

You may think this cruel. But I ask you, would Juno rather be spanked and chastised, or have her head crushed under the tires of T-Hoe when she runs in while I am backing out? Even though Juno can't talk, I think I can say she would prefer the spanking.

The even better news, which may be only temporary, is that today, Juno stood beside the garage door and watched it close. She's still in the danger backing zone, but at least she's out in the open where she has a chance to run away from the tires, and not be trapped by the garage walls.

There may be obedience hope for out little gal yet. And Mr. Shocky has still to make an appearance.

4 comments:

Chivimi said...

She is just like any other adolescent, figuring out just how far she can push those boundaries. You're doing the right thing, she will grow out of this phase and make you proud!mipsold

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Poor Juno! Toni Louise has decided to escape at every opportunity and she likes to chase cars! Scares me. Unfortunately, she seems oblivious to scolding or spanking. The only thing she has figured out is that I will bite her if she dares to nip at me.

Sioux said...

What is Mr. Shocky? A taser? An electric cattle prod? Jeb Bush coming in at the last minute as the Republican's presidential candidate? Inquiring minds want to know.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Chivimi,
She's just like that Sour Patch Kid. First she's sour, then she's sweet.

************
Kathy,
I had a car-chasin' dog...and my mom ran over him. Live by the tire, die by the tire, I suppose.

I've heard that if a dog chases cars, you can squirt them in the face with a powerful water gun and that will break them. Don't know if it actually works. You might have to do a lot of driving back and forth to squirt her good.

**************
Sioux,
Mr. Shocky is the shock collar Farmer H borrows from his son, The Veteran, who uses it to train his prize beagles. Mr. Shocky last made his appearance at the Mansion after the fourth chicken was killed by Ann the black shepherd.

He is quite the persuader, our Mr. Shocky.