And Whether Pigs Have Wings

“The time has come,” Hillmomba said,

“To get right to the point.

Of goings, comings, hangers-on

And noses out of joint.

Who belongs and who does not

And who’s all hoity-toit.”

Hillbilly Mom protested much

“My body’s not yet dead.

But over it, you all insist

Replacements now must tread.

Right past my room, in front of me

The applicants are led!”

"Why does it take a dozen folks

To interview just one?

Italian Chandelier and my

Arch Nemesis…you done?

Let the coaches have their shot

This party’s just begun."

"Who takes my place I do not care

One whit for that, you see

Pretending that I am not there’s

The part that gets to me.

You can tell me to my face

'We’ll interview at 3:00.'"

"Parading by, eyes straight ahead

Is not the way to go.

I do not bite, I still work here

Why marginalize me so?

Would the Earth stop spinning, eh?

If I waved “Hello?”

"Since when do equals interview

Their future equal peers?

And candidates for admin jobs

Get to query pre-careers?

So many cooks to spoil this broth

As my retirement nears!"

"Whatever happened to the days

One interviewed with two?

The Principal and Super, sure

But not a motley crew.

Just people who are going to be

Superior to you."

"Pardon me," I clear my throat,

"Sorry ‘bout that phlegm.

But seriously, I must ask

And not upon a whim,

How many people does it take

To choose a new HM?"