Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Mate And Switch

Yesterday, Farmer H sent me a text in the middle of the day.

“I found a switch.”

Sweet Gummi Mary! What was THAT supposed to mean? A switch? Like for administering a whoopin’? Like when your stepdaddy says , “Boy, go out back and bring me a switch.” Like in that move The Quiet Man, when John Wayne is dragging Maureen O’Hara across the Irish countryside by the her flaming red hair, and a woman from the town holds out a tree branch, and says, “Here’s a stick, to beat the lovely lady.” Or maybe Farmer H found a switch to turn on his common sense. Or one that makes a light bulb appear over his head when he gets an idea. Seriously. A switch? So all I could do was send back a response.

“For...?”

“$5.00”

Okay. I DID ask. But this was not helping.

"For what?”

“His cruise control they didn’t have the ac switch today will check again another day.switch looks good and for 5 bucks I will try it about 10 minutes to install”

So…I gathered that Farmer H was looking for parts to fix The Pony’s truck, since he was sure he had found the parts on The Devil’s online version, and he and The Pony went to the Playground on Monday night, and no part was to be had. Prompting Farmer H to say, “Huh. I guess I didn’t look it up right.”

Speaking of…he sent me info for the part he needs to fix the hot tub. Info consisting of the word pump and a couple of stock numbers. “You can get it on Amazon,” said Farmer H. “My buddy at work got one there.”

Do you know how many pumps for hot tubs come up when you type in Farmer H’s numbers on Amazon? 3,367. Yeah. Kind of hard to figure out which one goes with your 1970s model free hot tub that Farmer H brought home from the estate of his boss’s deceased father. So that was not found. Prompting Farmer H to say, “Oh. I guess I will go to the pool place and ask about it.”

Yeah. Somebody around here needs a switch all right…


4 comments:

fishducky said...

I LOVE Farmer H--but, then again, I'm not married to him!!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I refuse to order parts for HeWho. He has taken to sitting in his car by his barn and ordering things on his I-pad. Just wish he would fix whatever he ordered before he orders more.

Sioux said...

HM--You have some teacher friends, don't you? If you DO, they could help administer the switch--they have lots of experience in a variety of modern-day discipline techniques that work like a charm. Techniques like whacking and smacking. Allowing students to fail. And the best one of all--"No."

By the way, let your teacher friends know about the Lewis Black bit on youtube. (Lewis Black rants about teachers and gets 100% right.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
It's kind of like in "The Cutting Edge," when actor D.B. Sweeney told actress Moira Kelley how her actor boyfriend could put up with her hateful personality: "I'll bet you look good pretty from a couple thousand miles away." Or something like that.


****
Kathy,
He might just have to build another barn to store the parts...


****
Sioux,
Whacking and smacking is so old-school! But "NO" hurts them more.

I'll check out Lewis and pass the word.