Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Technology Plays A Cruel Prank On Mrs. Hillbilly Mom

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is ready to jump right off the technology bandwagon. She will not be giggling and tossing technology all willy-nilly down people's shirt collars, nor sitting on a bale of technology while inhaling the aroma of fresh-cut technology in the moist night air, nor roasting weenies over a campfire at the end of the technology bandwagon ride.

I don't mind giving my phone number and email to Newmentia for emergency notifications. But let's get real. Is the Elementia chili supper really an emergency?

Monday evening, The Pony was waiting for a college acceptance list to appear online. He's been waiting for months. He knew the exact time the notice would be posted. "It's at 6:38 p.m. Eastern Time. That's 5:38 here." He took his laptop with him to an appointment. I left to pick up some supper for him.

Of course I was stuck waiting in a drive-thru line. At 5:33, I heard my phone buzz that little vibrating thing that it does when I get a text. OH! That must be The Pony. Maybe he has good news, and can't wait to tell me! I checked my phone. A TEXT! From...

Newmentia. Telling me that Newmentia was having a technology night on Tuesday. Which Newmentia also texted to tell me on Friday night. And earlier in the day, texted to remind me to take the school climate survey. And a couple weeks ago, texted to tell me that the basketball team was playing a cross-town rival, and would appreciate support.

MAKE IT STOP!

I have 61 texts from Newmentia! Sure, a few of them are for snow days. Those are welcome. They're like an emergency! So I know not to go to work. And not to send The Pony to school. But nothing else is that pressing. Newmentia has a website, by cracky! And if I want to know those things, I can go there and see a slideshow and a list and check the calendar and announcements for each campus.

I am not happy that Newmentia got my hopes up for The Pony's news, only to find out later that the news was not what he had hoped for.

DARN YOU, TECHNOLOGY! DARN YOU ALL TO HECK!

6 comments:

Sioux said...

Any school that doesn't want The Pony is no good.

It should be burned down, since it's obviously a waste of space...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Let's not make a rash decision that we might regret (NOT-HEAVEN NO WE WON'T!) a bit later.

The Pony was so hopeful about his 0.05% chance for acceptance, as calculated by previous admission rates for a young man of his demographics.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Okay. So really it was 0.5% chance. Still slim to none.

fishducky said...

"DARN YOU, TECHNOLOGY! DARN YOU ALL TO HECK!" Watch your language, young lady!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
I'm only repeating what I heard in the movies! It's in "Madagascar." The scene is a ripoff of "Planet of the Apes," where Charlton Heston sees a shocking sight on the beach at the end, and says the real words.

Sioux said...

Yep, it was the Statue of Liberty, buried up to her boobage in sand...

Get your hands off me, you **** dirty apes.